"The Creativity Interviews" (http://www.genuinecoaching.com/creativity-interviews.html), spoke of being a channel for something bigger-that their creative works were simply a communication from spirit, and that their job was simply to express it. That IS a humbling thought!
I hope this article will help you to find inspiration, while letting go of the struggle to find it. I also hope that writing a gratitude list, at least once, will help you to connect with your gifts, strengths and abundance.
This article was originally published on the Muses Muse Songwriter's Resource website (October 2004) http://www.musesmuse.com.
(c) Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services.
Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, helps artists enhance their creativity by addressing their unique self-care issues. To receive her free monthly newsletter, "Everyday Artist", subscribe at http://www.genuinecoaching.com/artist-newsletter.html
Showing posts with label article. Show all posts
Showing posts with label article. Show all posts
Meditation, Self-Acceptance & the Muse
Meditation, Self-Acceptance & the Muse
Meditation presents an interesting paradox. It requires humility and acceptance, and yet it results in self-empowerment and increased confidence.
Low self-esteem, which affects and can cripple many creative artists, leads us to believe that we're not worth much, and therefore our ideas (our songs) probably aren't either. This low self-esteem is a distant cousin to humility. Humility involves accepting ourselves for who we are, which includes our limitations.
So, our goal is to humbly seek answers from within (meditation) and from above (prayer). Even more important is to accept the answers we receive. Accepting them, even if we don't like, or are surprised by what we hear, can enrich our lives with peace and contentment. The answers may also hold lots of wonderful ideas for our creative endeavors.
Artists sometimes have the experience of music, words, or other ideas, coming to them from "out of nowhere". Where is this "nowhere" and how can we go in there after all of those great ideas??
How do we get from the point of damaging low self-esteem (giving a microphone and stage to our inner critics and then beating ourselves over the head about what we're hearing), to genuine humility, meditation, self-acceptance and creative bounty?
Here are some suggestions:
1. Practice gratitude - When you're so busy being grateful for all the things you have (your health, your mobility, a few bucks in your pocket, food & shelter, friends & family) and that you're good at (face it, there's only a small percentage of the population with musical gifts and even less who are doing anything with them!), your inner critic won't stand a chance! A great practice (which even Oprah Winfrey is known to promote) is a daily list of things you're grateful for.
2. Meditation - There are countless books, tapes, videos and classes that teach people how to meditate. Here are some basic tips and I encourage you to explore further.
a. Ask a question - If you're busy struggling to figure something out (how those two lines are going to go together, what chord structure to use for the bridge, or how you're going to make rent this month), try letting go of the struggle and simply letting the question of what to do "hang out" for a while. Ask it, and then sit quietly and see what answers pop into your head. You can also try writing it on a piece of paper and putting it under your pillow.
b. Toning - Toning is a way to use your singing voice to achieve extraordinary calm, connection to spirit, connection to others and physical relaxation. Take a deep breath, filling your diaphragm and then your lungs. On exhalation, choose a vowel, pitch and volume that feel comfortable and effortless, and sing a steady tone until you're ready to take a new breath. For more ideas on using music as a tool of spiritual connection and creativity, I highly recommend the book Essential Musical Intelligence by Dr. Louise Montello.
c. Rest your gaze - Find something that you find soothing to look at. Some people use a landscape picture, a burning candle, a spot on the wall, a flower-it really can be anything. Focus on the object and gaze at it deeply, letting thoughts come and go and staying present in the moment.
d. Journal - Write your question at the top of a piece of paper, or on your computer, and answer the question in a stream of consciousness style.
e. Walking Meditation - Pose your question to yourself at the beginning of your walk. While outdoors, become very present in the moment and notice the things around you. When thoughts and answers flow in to your mind, notice them and then bring your attention back to everything you're seeing.
f. More Meditation Tips - If you find yourself analyzing or "figuring things out" during the meditation process, gently let go of that and ask the question again. Don't judge any of your ideas or answers-simply collect them
Meditation presents an interesting paradox. It requires humility and acceptance, and yet it results in self-empowerment and increased confidence.
Low self-esteem, which affects and can cripple many creative artists, leads us to believe that we're not worth much, and therefore our ideas (our songs) probably aren't either. This low self-esteem is a distant cousin to humility. Humility involves accepting ourselves for who we are, which includes our limitations.
So, our goal is to humbly seek answers from within (meditation) and from above (prayer). Even more important is to accept the answers we receive. Accepting them, even if we don't like, or are surprised by what we hear, can enrich our lives with peace and contentment. The answers may also hold lots of wonderful ideas for our creative endeavors.
Artists sometimes have the experience of music, words, or other ideas, coming to them from "out of nowhere". Where is this "nowhere" and how can we go in there after all of those great ideas??
How do we get from the point of damaging low self-esteem (giving a microphone and stage to our inner critics and then beating ourselves over the head about what we're hearing), to genuine humility, meditation, self-acceptance and creative bounty?
Here are some suggestions:
1. Practice gratitude - When you're so busy being grateful for all the things you have (your health, your mobility, a few bucks in your pocket, food & shelter, friends & family) and that you're good at (face it, there's only a small percentage of the population with musical gifts and even less who are doing anything with them!), your inner critic won't stand a chance! A great practice (which even Oprah Winfrey is known to promote) is a daily list of things you're grateful for.
2. Meditation - There are countless books, tapes, videos and classes that teach people how to meditate. Here are some basic tips and I encourage you to explore further.
a. Ask a question - If you're busy struggling to figure something out (how those two lines are going to go together, what chord structure to use for the bridge, or how you're going to make rent this month), try letting go of the struggle and simply letting the question of what to do "hang out" for a while. Ask it, and then sit quietly and see what answers pop into your head. You can also try writing it on a piece of paper and putting it under your pillow.
b. Toning - Toning is a way to use your singing voice to achieve extraordinary calm, connection to spirit, connection to others and physical relaxation. Take a deep breath, filling your diaphragm and then your lungs. On exhalation, choose a vowel, pitch and volume that feel comfortable and effortless, and sing a steady tone until you're ready to take a new breath. For more ideas on using music as a tool of spiritual connection and creativity, I highly recommend the book Essential Musical Intelligence by Dr. Louise Montello.
c. Rest your gaze - Find something that you find soothing to look at. Some people use a landscape picture, a burning candle, a spot on the wall, a flower-it really can be anything. Focus on the object and gaze at it deeply, letting thoughts come and go and staying present in the moment.
d. Journal - Write your question at the top of a piece of paper, or on your computer, and answer the question in a stream of consciousness style.
e. Walking Meditation - Pose your question to yourself at the beginning of your walk. While outdoors, become very present in the moment and notice the things around you. When thoughts and answers flow in to your mind, notice them and then bring your attention back to everything you're seeing.
f. More Meditation Tips - If you find yourself analyzing or "figuring things out" during the meditation process, gently let go of that and ask the question again. Don't judge any of your ideas or answers-simply collect them
The Secret to Staying Centered and Happy in a Troubled World
The Secret to Staying Centered and Happy in a Troubled World
Many of us are probably so used to crisis in the world that it has become a natural part of our mental scenery. We've grown accustomed to living in a world where acts of bitter conflict, unrest, and inhumanity are everyday things, and their constant contradiction with our essential values almost seems normal.
But are we really aware of the effect that these daily messages have on our minds and attitudes, on our inner life? How do we deal with our real feelings about the war, terrorism, the elections, the environment, and other issues? Do we even know those feelings are, aside from our general opinion? It's surprisingly easy to carry silent resentment, fear, and deep anxiety about these things without even realizing it.
Everyone knows it's important for any individual to stay balanced, but how can one do it when the pressure is on, when one is assaulted by negative messages from all sides?
Get in Touch with yourself.
People are usually much more willing to analyze an external issue and give opinions than to look inside themselves. Take a moment to get in touch with your inner response to a much talked about and urgent current event. Use some adjectives to describe your personal way of relating to the events you are aware of, and write them down on a piece of paper. Do you feel concerned, combative, hopeful, disgusted, despondent or numb? Are the feelings obvious or vague? Allowing your feelings to become clear to you gives you more power to influence them.
Decide what gets inside your head.
Every day, Americans are bombarded by information from advertisements and the media. Maybe in years past, news about world events used to come at a slower pace, often by word of mouth, but nowadays it's easy to overdose before finishing breakfast, on information about events occurring on the other side of the world.
Just as you make choices about the foods you eat, be judicious about what you allow to enter your mind. What you hear and see affect what you think, and what you think over time determines the quality and substance of your life. How necessary is it to read the entire newspaper every day, or to listen to and share office or family gossip? What other possibilities can you think of for your valuable time?
Train yourself to consistently stay on guard, and watchful of the external messages constantly contending for your precious attention. Make it a point to actively allow or deny them entrance, according to your best judgment. Over time, this kind of work on yourself will help you be freer of the invasion of external messages, and to help you think more clearly and precisely.
Invest in your personal Vitality (Wind your Clock)
Much like a car depends on gas, everything you do in life is made possible by your level of vitality or energy, especially the decision to remain inwardly balanced and happy. Surprisingly, your energy comes from many more sources than just the food you eat.
For example, in Hypsoconsciousness by John Baines, a book of consciousness-developing exercises, the author describes a consciousness building exercise where the individual moves very slowly and carefully, in a relaxed manner, mentally concentrating on the movement. Any physical movement (such as writing or walking) works and is performed at an exaggeratingly slow pace for five to ten minutes, and sometimes more. After practicing this exercise, you should feel an increase in vitality, presence, and greater mental clarity. Try this exercise when you feel fatigued, and see how it makes you feel.
Take life as a Challenge
When life is taken as a healthy challenge, difficulties seem more like an engaging game; it becomes more intense, joyful, and real. To spend most of our lifetime fearfully avoiding problems ultimately doesn't work, because fear contaminates our every act, and in the end, we have to deal with even more problems. Things take a different color when we accept difficulties as normal, patiently work through them, and don't assign so much negative emotional weight to them. This takes development of the will.
Try this suggestion: Set one small goal for yourself this week. For example, if you hate washing dishes, set yourself the challenge of washing the dishes with a light, cheery attitude for the entire week. If you tend to be shy around people, go to a party with the specific aim of chatting comfortably with a few strangers. Whether you succeed or not, if you take the right attitude with this exercise, you will see yourself and your possibilities differently. Remember to take small steps - making the challenge too difficult or too easy defeats the purpose.
Seeing the Big Picture
Have you ever been positively influenced by a person who had some quality you admired? Sometimes just one well balanced and positive person can affect a great number of people just by the way he or she "is". It's been said: "If you want to change the world, start with yourself." Though it's tough to accept at first, each of us who is concerned about the world can make a contribution with our own development, with our own growth. It's easy to feel powerless in the face of negative events on a global scale, to give up, to contaminate each other with opinions, or to avoid how we feel. These things only make matters worse, on the inside and out. The most potent tool each person has for attaining genuine happiness is his or her potential for self development, and the greater the number of people who work on themselves, the greater the effect on the world.
Junod Etienne is a Seminar Presenter at the Institute for Hermetic Philosophy in New York. The ideas and exercises in this article originate from the Teachings of philosopher and author Dario Salas Sommer, who writes under the pen name John Baines. For more information about the Institute visit http://www.ihpny.org or write to seminars@ihpny.org.
Many of us are probably so used to crisis in the world that it has become a natural part of our mental scenery. We've grown accustomed to living in a world where acts of bitter conflict, unrest, and inhumanity are everyday things, and their constant contradiction with our essential values almost seems normal.
But are we really aware of the effect that these daily messages have on our minds and attitudes, on our inner life? How do we deal with our real feelings about the war, terrorism, the elections, the environment, and other issues? Do we even know those feelings are, aside from our general opinion? It's surprisingly easy to carry silent resentment, fear, and deep anxiety about these things without even realizing it.
Everyone knows it's important for any individual to stay balanced, but how can one do it when the pressure is on, when one is assaulted by negative messages from all sides?
Get in Touch with yourself.
People are usually much more willing to analyze an external issue and give opinions than to look inside themselves. Take a moment to get in touch with your inner response to a much talked about and urgent current event. Use some adjectives to describe your personal way of relating to the events you are aware of, and write them down on a piece of paper. Do you feel concerned, combative, hopeful, disgusted, despondent or numb? Are the feelings obvious or vague? Allowing your feelings to become clear to you gives you more power to influence them.
Decide what gets inside your head.
Every day, Americans are bombarded by information from advertisements and the media. Maybe in years past, news about world events used to come at a slower pace, often by word of mouth, but nowadays it's easy to overdose before finishing breakfast, on information about events occurring on the other side of the world.
Just as you make choices about the foods you eat, be judicious about what you allow to enter your mind. What you hear and see affect what you think, and what you think over time determines the quality and substance of your life. How necessary is it to read the entire newspaper every day, or to listen to and share office or family gossip? What other possibilities can you think of for your valuable time?
Train yourself to consistently stay on guard, and watchful of the external messages constantly contending for your precious attention. Make it a point to actively allow or deny them entrance, according to your best judgment. Over time, this kind of work on yourself will help you be freer of the invasion of external messages, and to help you think more clearly and precisely.
Invest in your personal Vitality (Wind your Clock)
Much like a car depends on gas, everything you do in life is made possible by your level of vitality or energy, especially the decision to remain inwardly balanced and happy. Surprisingly, your energy comes from many more sources than just the food you eat.
For example, in Hypsoconsciousness by John Baines, a book of consciousness-developing exercises, the author describes a consciousness building exercise where the individual moves very slowly and carefully, in a relaxed manner, mentally concentrating on the movement. Any physical movement (such as writing or walking) works and is performed at an exaggeratingly slow pace for five to ten minutes, and sometimes more. After practicing this exercise, you should feel an increase in vitality, presence, and greater mental clarity. Try this exercise when you feel fatigued, and see how it makes you feel.
Take life as a Challenge
When life is taken as a healthy challenge, difficulties seem more like an engaging game; it becomes more intense, joyful, and real. To spend most of our lifetime fearfully avoiding problems ultimately doesn't work, because fear contaminates our every act, and in the end, we have to deal with even more problems. Things take a different color when we accept difficulties as normal, patiently work through them, and don't assign so much negative emotional weight to them. This takes development of the will.
Try this suggestion: Set one small goal for yourself this week. For example, if you hate washing dishes, set yourself the challenge of washing the dishes with a light, cheery attitude for the entire week. If you tend to be shy around people, go to a party with the specific aim of chatting comfortably with a few strangers. Whether you succeed or not, if you take the right attitude with this exercise, you will see yourself and your possibilities differently. Remember to take small steps - making the challenge too difficult or too easy defeats the purpose.
Seeing the Big Picture
Have you ever been positively influenced by a person who had some quality you admired? Sometimes just one well balanced and positive person can affect a great number of people just by the way he or she "is". It's been said: "If you want to change the world, start with yourself." Though it's tough to accept at first, each of us who is concerned about the world can make a contribution with our own development, with our own growth. It's easy to feel powerless in the face of negative events on a global scale, to give up, to contaminate each other with opinions, or to avoid how we feel. These things only make matters worse, on the inside and out. The most potent tool each person has for attaining genuine happiness is his or her potential for self development, and the greater the number of people who work on themselves, the greater the effect on the world.
Junod Etienne is a Seminar Presenter at the Institute for Hermetic Philosophy in New York. The ideas and exercises in this article originate from the Teachings of philosopher and author Dario Salas Sommer, who writes under the pen name John Baines. For more information about the Institute visit http://www.ihpny.org or write to seminars@ihpny.org.
Getting Connected
Getting Connected
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet." -James Oppenheim
Today is very special. Besides being your "un-birthday", it's the first day of the rest of your life.
We've all heard that one. We acknowledge the wisdom and move on --- checking our watches and calendars to see how long before the "good stuff" starts happening.
Our impatience and anxiety prevent us from focusing our awareness on "now". As a result we never discover it's full potential or give ourselves permission to enjoy it.
We recognize many important holidays on the calendar; Christmas, New Years etc...and these are the times when we have permission to celebrate.
Surprisingly, many people report having "depression" around the holidays. Could it be that our enjoyment muscles have grown flabby or that we've been driving ourselves nuts to get there.
Just as we don't have permission to enjoy "now", we also don't have permission to enjoy "here". We can't wait to go on vacations to visit the "good places"
We're certainly not allowed to enjoy our jobs. We want to move on so that we get to be with the "smart people".
Within any given day, certain places and times are more important than others: --- getting to work --- and once we're there --- getting home. Meal times are "biggies" --- important events. Is it any wonder that many of us have weight problems.
Where am I going with this? We shouldn't go to work? We shouldn't eat?
No. Go ahead and do all those things. You'll do them much better when you learn to slow down and connect. The difference is that you'll feel better about things.
Connect to what?
To "here" and "now": Our immediate experience separated from what the Zen masters call "the monkey mind" --- our obsessive conceptualizing and labeling of things.
The ability to practice "non-thinking" and focus on immediate experience is called "mindfulness". In other words, when you're washing the dishes, you're washing the dishes.
Non-thinking is not easy. It's a habit which has to be learned. The key is attention to our breathing. It provides something on which to focus.
Starting your day with a daily "non-thinking" exercise or meditation is the best thing you can do if you want to connect. It provides a fresh image of what it feels like to relax. You can accomplish this in as little as ten minutes or even less once you're used to it.
Just find a comfortable spot and relax. Clear your mind of all thoughts --- even the one's you think are important. Pay attention to your breathing. Don't force it. Your body knows how to breathe without you telling it to. Just go along for the ride. But, breathe through you nose. For some reason it helps. If thoughts intrude (and they will!), simply redirect your attention to your breathing.
If you're unsure about how long you should do this, just set an egg timer for ten or fifteen minutes.
If you'd like more detailed instructions and some good tips, try Christopher Calder's excellent site, The Meditation Handbook.
Many schools of thought hold that what you are connecting to when you meditate is much, much, more than just relaxation. I tend to agree. But, expectations can be very distracting when you're getting started. It's important that while you're meditating you feel whatever it is you feel. Not, what someone tells you you're going to feel.
Once you get the hang of it, you'll have a wonderful way to start your day. You'll also learn eventually how to "re-connect" throughout your day --- take little "vacations" --- any time you want. They won't cost a dime and you'll feel better about things.
Bob Steinman (AKA 'Feelbetterman') resides in Orlando, Fl. with his wife, 13 year old son, and a totally spoiled female Shih-Tzu. He is retired following consecutive careers in academics and human services. Presently he aspires to write a definitive self-help book which will present his unique perspective on how to live in harmony with ourselves and our life situations. His web site,Feel Better about Things provides a means to fine-tune his writing and also communicate with those who have interest in his work.
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet." -James Oppenheim
Today is very special. Besides being your "un-birthday", it's the first day of the rest of your life.
We've all heard that one. We acknowledge the wisdom and move on --- checking our watches and calendars to see how long before the "good stuff" starts happening.
Our impatience and anxiety prevent us from focusing our awareness on "now". As a result we never discover it's full potential or give ourselves permission to enjoy it.
We recognize many important holidays on the calendar; Christmas, New Years etc...and these are the times when we have permission to celebrate.
Surprisingly, many people report having "depression" around the holidays. Could it be that our enjoyment muscles have grown flabby or that we've been driving ourselves nuts to get there.
Just as we don't have permission to enjoy "now", we also don't have permission to enjoy "here". We can't wait to go on vacations to visit the "good places"
We're certainly not allowed to enjoy our jobs. We want to move on so that we get to be with the "smart people".
Within any given day, certain places and times are more important than others: --- getting to work --- and once we're there --- getting home. Meal times are "biggies" --- important events. Is it any wonder that many of us have weight problems.
Where am I going with this? We shouldn't go to work? We shouldn't eat?
No. Go ahead and do all those things. You'll do them much better when you learn to slow down and connect. The difference is that you'll feel better about things.
Connect to what?
To "here" and "now": Our immediate experience separated from what the Zen masters call "the monkey mind" --- our obsessive conceptualizing and labeling of things.
The ability to practice "non-thinking" and focus on immediate experience is called "mindfulness". In other words, when you're washing the dishes, you're washing the dishes.
Non-thinking is not easy. It's a habit which has to be learned. The key is attention to our breathing. It provides something on which to focus.
Starting your day with a daily "non-thinking" exercise or meditation is the best thing you can do if you want to connect. It provides a fresh image of what it feels like to relax. You can accomplish this in as little as ten minutes or even less once you're used to it.
Just find a comfortable spot and relax. Clear your mind of all thoughts --- even the one's you think are important. Pay attention to your breathing. Don't force it. Your body knows how to breathe without you telling it to. Just go along for the ride. But, breathe through you nose. For some reason it helps. If thoughts intrude (and they will!), simply redirect your attention to your breathing.
If you're unsure about how long you should do this, just set an egg timer for ten or fifteen minutes.
If you'd like more detailed instructions and some good tips, try Christopher Calder's excellent site, The Meditation Handbook.
Many schools of thought hold that what you are connecting to when you meditate is much, much, more than just relaxation. I tend to agree. But, expectations can be very distracting when you're getting started. It's important that while you're meditating you feel whatever it is you feel. Not, what someone tells you you're going to feel.
Once you get the hang of it, you'll have a wonderful way to start your day. You'll also learn eventually how to "re-connect" throughout your day --- take little "vacations" --- any time you want. They won't cost a dime and you'll feel better about things.
Bob Steinman (AKA 'Feelbetterman') resides in Orlando, Fl. with his wife, 13 year old son, and a totally spoiled female Shih-Tzu. He is retired following consecutive careers in academics and human services. Presently he aspires to write a definitive self-help book which will present his unique perspective on how to live in harmony with ourselves and our life situations. His web site,Feel Better about Things provides a means to fine-tune his writing and also communicate with those who have interest in his work.
Meditation: A Path To Inner Peace
Meditation: A Path To Inner Peace
Throughout history, meditation has been an integral part of many cultures. Records indicate that meditation was practiced in ancient Greece and India more than 5,000 years ago. In the Buddhist religion, meditation is an important part of their spiritual practice. Different forms of meditation are practiced in China and Japan, and Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have traditions similar to meditation. The word meditation comes from the Latin 'meditari' which means: exercise, turn something over in one's mind, think, consider. It is defined as "consciously directing your attention to alter your state of mind."
Meditation is one of the proven alternative therapies that in recent years have been classified under the mind-body medicine therapies. It is continuing to gain popularity, as more and more health experts believe that there is more to the connection between mind and body than modern medicine can explain. Meditation has been shown to aid the immune system and improve brain activity, according to researchers. More and more doctors are prescribing meditation as a way to lower blood pressure, improve exercise performance, for people with angina, to help people with asthma to breathe easier, to relieve insomnia, and generally relax everyday stresses of life. Many hospitals now offer meditation classes for their patients because of the health benefits. All promote physiological health and well-being.
Traditionally meditation has been used for spiritual growth but more recently has become a valuable tool for managing stress and finding a place of peace, relaxation, and tranquility in a demanding fast-paced world. Benefits resulting from meditation include: physical and emotional healing; easing stress, fear, and grief; improved breathing; developing intuition; deep relaxation; exploring higher realities; finding inner guidance; unlocking creativity; manifesting change; emotional cleansing and balancing; and deepening concentration and insight.
Meditation elicits many descriptive terms: stillness, silence, tranquility, peace, quiet, and calm. All counter stress and tension. Lama Surya Das in his book Awakening The Buddha Within says, "Meditation is not just something to do; it's a method of being and seeing - an unconditional way of living moment by moment." In other words, learning to live in this moment because this moment is all we have. Henry Winkler is quoted as saying; "A human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself." Meditation is an opportunity to 'shake hands with ourselves' in a safe, simple way and to balance our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Meditation takes many forms in today's society. All have one thing in common. They use concentration techniques to still the mind and stop thought. Various practices exist such as chanting (Mantra), focusing on energy centres in the body (Chakra Meditation), breathing, mindfulness (Mahamudra), loving kindness, formal sitting (Vipassana), expressive practices (Siddha Yoga), and walking to name some of the styles. Try each style and see what works for you or you may want to alternate between the techniques from time to time. For the purposes of this article, I will discuss Mahamudra and walking meditation.
Practical Steps To Begin Meditating
1. Find a place where there are few external distractions. A place where you feel emotionally comfortable, safe, removed from pressure and stress is the optimal location.
2. Wear clothing that is loose and sit or lie in a comfortable position.
3. Plan to meditate in an area that is warm and comfortable. You might want to have a blanket or light covering as some people experience a feeling of coolness when they aren't moving around for a period of time.
4. Candles can be used to focus attention on the task at hand. If you use them, remember to be cautious and extinguish them before leaving the room.
5. Relaxation is a key component of meditation. Take a few moments to bring about a state of relaxation by taking a deep breath through your nose, expanding your lungs and diaphragm. Hold the breath for a few seconds and slowly exhale through your mouth. Do this several times until you feel relaxed.
6. Calm, soothing music can be helpful for inducing a state of tranquillity and relaxation
7. If you are hungry, have a little something to eat, as it is not necessary to meditate on a completely empty stomach.
8. Put your expectations aside and don't worry about doing it right.
Meditation
Mahamudra is the form of meditation that is a way of going about one's daily activities in a state of mindfulness. It is meditation integrated into all aspects of our lives. This following exercise is one you can do anywhere to create a feeling of inner peace. It is particularly helpful for those times you are stuck in traffic, waiting in line at the grocery store or bank, at the office when days are hectic, or when you are picking up the kids from school or extra-curricular activities. "What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it," wrote Hugh Mulligan. Meditation helps us remember to stop and 'smell the daisies.'
Begin by taking a deep breath. Breathe deeply and as you do expand your lungs and your diaphragm. Hold the breath for a few seconds and slowly exhale through the mouth. Focus on your breath and clear your mind. Do this several times until you feel the slowing of your breath and a deep sense of peace fill your body. Consciously feel the peace permeate your body. Drop your shoulders and connect through the top of your head to the Universal Energy. Repeat. If you wish, send peace to those around you by connecting to their hearts with light and love.
Walking Meditation
A walking meditation is simply an exercise in awareness. There are four components:
-become aware of your breathing,
-notice your surroundings,
-be attentive to your body's movement, and
-take some time to reflect on your experience when you return home.
To practice 'awareness walking' bring awareness to walking wherever you find yourself. Take notice of your breathing. Are you taking short, shallow breaths without even knowing it? If so, take several deep breaths and centre yourself in your body and in the present moment. Appreciate the wonderful body you have and the blessing of being able to walk.
Notice your surroundings. What season is it? Take a few minutes to listen to the noises around you. Feel the wind, sun, fog, rain or snow on your face. Look at the people, animals, birds, sky, trees, and buildings around you. Breathe in and out and realise that you are an integral part of the environment.
Pay attention to your body. Are you holding tension in your shoulders, neck, solar plexus, lower back, or legs? Breath into any areas where you are feeling tension and let it drain into the Earth. Next, pay attention to your posture. Are you standing straight and tall or slouching? Walk in a way that is comfortable for you with your body loose and uplifted. Walk with dignity and confidence, one foot in front of the other and pay attention to the experience of movement. You can walk mindfully anywhere, along a sidewalk, walking your dog, in the mall, along the hallways at work. You simply remind yourself to be in this moment, taking each step as it comes. Some people find it helpful to repeat a mantra (mantras are sacred words repeated in order to bring focus to your mind). You can also use a variation on the walking mantra by counting your breaths. Walk more slowly than you usually do and count how many steps it takes for your intake of breath and how many steps for your exhale. In this type of meditation, your attention is focused on both your steps and your breathing bringing together a wonderful balance of peacefulness and awareness.
Take some time to reflect on your experience when you return home. Five or ten minutes brings closure to your walk and provides an opportunity to make the transition from this 'place of peace' to ordinary day-to-day activities.
Gwen Nyhus Stewart, B.S.W., M.G., H.T., is an educator, freelance writer, garden consultant, and author of the book The Healing Garden: A Place Of Peace - Gardening For The Soil, Gardening For The Soul. She owns the website Gwen's Healing Garden where you will find lots of free information about gardening for the soil and gardening for the soul. To find out more about the book and subscribe to her free Newsletter visit http://www.gwenshealinggarden.ca
Gwen Nyhus Stewart © 2004 - 2005. All rights reserved.
Five Must-Knows When Getting a Kanji Tattoo
Japanese tattoos are cool. But if a personal translator is out of your league how can you avoid becoming a kanji fashion victim and get stuck with a tattoo you will really regret?
1. Know the difference - hiragana, katakana and kanji
Before you talk to your tattoo artist, make sure you know what you are talking about. You say you want a Japanese tattoo, but what do you know about Japanese characters? You need a quick stint in 2-minute Japanese boot camp.
First off, let's be clear that there is no Japanese "alphabet". There are three sets of Japanese characters - hiragana, katakana and kanji - and each group has its own history, function and style. Get your head around these facts and you will already know more than 99% of the people walking around with Japanese tattoos right now:
Hiragana - These simple, rounded characters represent sounds, but have no independent meaning. They were developed by women in the Heian period and are still considered feminine by Japanese people.
Katakana - Developed by Buddhist monks around the same time as hiragana, these are simple, angular characters that also represent sounds and have no meaning of their own. You saw them cascading down the screen in Matrix (although they were backwards!)
Kanji - Originally from China, these characters are like pictures, representing a meaning and also several different sounds depending on the situation.
Just reading this has probably given you an idea of which style you might like for your tattoo - but don't stop just yet! Now you know what kinds of Japanese characters there are, let's move on to?
2. Writing styles
Come a bit closer. Lean forward towards the screen. That's right. Now, look at the words in front of you. Take a good, close look at the shapes of these letters. OK? Now tell me honestly: Would you want a tattoo in Times New Roman? How about Tahoma? What's that? You don't want a tattoo by Canon or Epson? Sure you don't. And in the same way, you don't want to have your Japanese tattoo looking like a printout either!
So, now we move on to writing styles. Just like there are three kinds of Japanese characters, there are also three ways they can be written. Don't worry. This is easy! I know, you are thinking that you can't even read Japanese, so how on earth will you be able to recognize these different styles? Well, try this:
Kaisho - Block letters. You learned to write your ABCs like this, and Japanese kids learn to write their characters in just the same way: Like a Volvo - boxy but good.
Gyousho - Cursive letters. You moved up to middle school and learned you could write faster by letting the parts of some letters flow into the next. Yes, you guessed it - the Japanese do the same thing, and they call it gyousho.
Sousho - Super-cursive letters. Ever seen a prescription from a doctor? Then you know what sousho is like in Japanese: Sure, the writer or some other trained person can (probably) read it, but no one else has a clue what it says!
Are you getting the picture? If you want to look like a computer printout, then be my guest and go for the kaisho style. That's your choice. But I think you probably want to use either gyousho or sousho for your tattoo. My personal preference would be gyousho: It's stylish, but it won't leave even native speakers baffled.
3. Real or fake?
Remember I mentioned Mel C at the beginning? Well guess what kanji she got tattooed on her arm? That's right - "Girl Power": Great in English, but show this kanji combination to most Japanese people and you'll get a blank look at best. Want a worse example? Try "big daddy". Now, you know what it means in English, but put it into kanji and you end up with "large father"! It just doesn't work.
I'm sure you remember that kanji are the only characters that have meaning as well as sound. And their beauty means that they are what most people want for their tattoos. But watch out: As well as being popular, they can also be the most dangerous!
Let's see if we can find a pattern here: Look carefully at the examples above. What are they communicating - concrete concepts or abstract ideas? Can you see the difficulty the translators had? The kanji for "dragon", "samurai", "love" or any other concrete ideas are pretty easy to discover. But go for anything with an idiomatic meaning and whoever is trying to help you translate it is going to get a major headache!
Just an idea, but how about this suggestion: Rather than trying to force a round English peg into a square Japanese hole, why not find a real Japanese phrase that you like and get that instead? Bushidou (the Way of the Warrior) and Ninjutsu (The Art of Stealth) are two good examples of real Japanese terms that would make great tattoos.
4. Your name in Japanese
As I'm sure you remember from 2-minute Japanese boot camp, katakana are the characters usually used to write foreign words and names. So, if you want to get a tattoo of your name, technically these would be the characters you would choose. But I am guessing that, like most people, you want your name written in kanji.
Do a quick search on Google and you can find a number of sites that specialize in translating names into kanji. Basically there are two different methods that these sites use, so let's look at them here.
Translating the meaning
This method involves finding out the original meaning of the English name, and then researching the kanji equivalent.
For example, my name has its origins in Greek and means "crowned one". The one who is crowned is the king, so I could translate my name into the kanji for king and call myself ohsama. (Perhaps a little pretentious - and disturbingly similar to Mr. Bin Laden's first name!)
Translating the sound
This is a lot more difficult! Flick through a dictionary and you will find a bunch of kanji that can be combined to sound like your name. But sound isn't everything: Remember that kanji have meaning as well. In fact, it is even more complex than this! Be sure to check each of the following factors with anyone who translates your name like us
Throughout history, meditation has been an integral part of many cultures. Records indicate that meditation was practiced in ancient Greece and India more than 5,000 years ago. In the Buddhist religion, meditation is an important part of their spiritual practice. Different forms of meditation are practiced in China and Japan, and Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have traditions similar to meditation. The word meditation comes from the Latin 'meditari' which means: exercise, turn something over in one's mind, think, consider. It is defined as "consciously directing your attention to alter your state of mind."
Meditation is one of the proven alternative therapies that in recent years have been classified under the mind-body medicine therapies. It is continuing to gain popularity, as more and more health experts believe that there is more to the connection between mind and body than modern medicine can explain. Meditation has been shown to aid the immune system and improve brain activity, according to researchers. More and more doctors are prescribing meditation as a way to lower blood pressure, improve exercise performance, for people with angina, to help people with asthma to breathe easier, to relieve insomnia, and generally relax everyday stresses of life. Many hospitals now offer meditation classes for their patients because of the health benefits. All promote physiological health and well-being.
Traditionally meditation has been used for spiritual growth but more recently has become a valuable tool for managing stress and finding a place of peace, relaxation, and tranquility in a demanding fast-paced world. Benefits resulting from meditation include: physical and emotional healing; easing stress, fear, and grief; improved breathing; developing intuition; deep relaxation; exploring higher realities; finding inner guidance; unlocking creativity; manifesting change; emotional cleansing and balancing; and deepening concentration and insight.
Meditation elicits many descriptive terms: stillness, silence, tranquility, peace, quiet, and calm. All counter stress and tension. Lama Surya Das in his book Awakening The Buddha Within says, "Meditation is not just something to do; it's a method of being and seeing - an unconditional way of living moment by moment." In other words, learning to live in this moment because this moment is all we have. Henry Winkler is quoted as saying; "A human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself." Meditation is an opportunity to 'shake hands with ourselves' in a safe, simple way and to balance our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Meditation takes many forms in today's society. All have one thing in common. They use concentration techniques to still the mind and stop thought. Various practices exist such as chanting (Mantra), focusing on energy centres in the body (Chakra Meditation), breathing, mindfulness (Mahamudra), loving kindness, formal sitting (Vipassana), expressive practices (Siddha Yoga), and walking to name some of the styles. Try each style and see what works for you or you may want to alternate between the techniques from time to time. For the purposes of this article, I will discuss Mahamudra and walking meditation.
Practical Steps To Begin Meditating
1. Find a place where there are few external distractions. A place where you feel emotionally comfortable, safe, removed from pressure and stress is the optimal location.
2. Wear clothing that is loose and sit or lie in a comfortable position.
3. Plan to meditate in an area that is warm and comfortable. You might want to have a blanket or light covering as some people experience a feeling of coolness when they aren't moving around for a period of time.
4. Candles can be used to focus attention on the task at hand. If you use them, remember to be cautious and extinguish them before leaving the room.
5. Relaxation is a key component of meditation. Take a few moments to bring about a state of relaxation by taking a deep breath through your nose, expanding your lungs and diaphragm. Hold the breath for a few seconds and slowly exhale through your mouth. Do this several times until you feel relaxed.
6. Calm, soothing music can be helpful for inducing a state of tranquillity and relaxation
7. If you are hungry, have a little something to eat, as it is not necessary to meditate on a completely empty stomach.
8. Put your expectations aside and don't worry about doing it right.
Meditation
Mahamudra is the form of meditation that is a way of going about one's daily activities in a state of mindfulness. It is meditation integrated into all aspects of our lives. This following exercise is one you can do anywhere to create a feeling of inner peace. It is particularly helpful for those times you are stuck in traffic, waiting in line at the grocery store or bank, at the office when days are hectic, or when you are picking up the kids from school or extra-curricular activities. "What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it," wrote Hugh Mulligan. Meditation helps us remember to stop and 'smell the daisies.'
Begin by taking a deep breath. Breathe deeply and as you do expand your lungs and your diaphragm. Hold the breath for a few seconds and slowly exhale through the mouth. Focus on your breath and clear your mind. Do this several times until you feel the slowing of your breath and a deep sense of peace fill your body. Consciously feel the peace permeate your body. Drop your shoulders and connect through the top of your head to the Universal Energy. Repeat. If you wish, send peace to those around you by connecting to their hearts with light and love.
Walking Meditation
A walking meditation is simply an exercise in awareness. There are four components:
-become aware of your breathing,
-notice your surroundings,
-be attentive to your body's movement, and
-take some time to reflect on your experience when you return home.
To practice 'awareness walking' bring awareness to walking wherever you find yourself. Take notice of your breathing. Are you taking short, shallow breaths without even knowing it? If so, take several deep breaths and centre yourself in your body and in the present moment. Appreciate the wonderful body you have and the blessing of being able to walk.
Notice your surroundings. What season is it? Take a few minutes to listen to the noises around you. Feel the wind, sun, fog, rain or snow on your face. Look at the people, animals, birds, sky, trees, and buildings around you. Breathe in and out and realise that you are an integral part of the environment.
Pay attention to your body. Are you holding tension in your shoulders, neck, solar plexus, lower back, or legs? Breath into any areas where you are feeling tension and let it drain into the Earth. Next, pay attention to your posture. Are you standing straight and tall or slouching? Walk in a way that is comfortable for you with your body loose and uplifted. Walk with dignity and confidence, one foot in front of the other and pay attention to the experience of movement. You can walk mindfully anywhere, along a sidewalk, walking your dog, in the mall, along the hallways at work. You simply remind yourself to be in this moment, taking each step as it comes. Some people find it helpful to repeat a mantra (mantras are sacred words repeated in order to bring focus to your mind). You can also use a variation on the walking mantra by counting your breaths. Walk more slowly than you usually do and count how many steps it takes for your intake of breath and how many steps for your exhale. In this type of meditation, your attention is focused on both your steps and your breathing bringing together a wonderful balance of peacefulness and awareness.
Take some time to reflect on your experience when you return home. Five or ten minutes brings closure to your walk and provides an opportunity to make the transition from this 'place of peace' to ordinary day-to-day activities.
Gwen Nyhus Stewart, B.S.W., M.G., H.T., is an educator, freelance writer, garden consultant, and author of the book The Healing Garden: A Place Of Peace - Gardening For The Soil, Gardening For The Soul. She owns the website Gwen's Healing Garden where you will find lots of free information about gardening for the soil and gardening for the soul. To find out more about the book and subscribe to her free Newsletter visit http://www.gwenshealinggarden.ca
Gwen Nyhus Stewart © 2004 - 2005. All rights reserved.
Five Must-Knows When Getting a Kanji Tattoo
Japanese tattoos are cool. But if a personal translator is out of your league how can you avoid becoming a kanji fashion victim and get stuck with a tattoo you will really regret?
1. Know the difference - hiragana, katakana and kanji
Before you talk to your tattoo artist, make sure you know what you are talking about. You say you want a Japanese tattoo, but what do you know about Japanese characters? You need a quick stint in 2-minute Japanese boot camp.
First off, let's be clear that there is no Japanese "alphabet". There are three sets of Japanese characters - hiragana, katakana and kanji - and each group has its own history, function and style. Get your head around these facts and you will already know more than 99% of the people walking around with Japanese tattoos right now:
Hiragana - These simple, rounded characters represent sounds, but have no independent meaning. They were developed by women in the Heian period and are still considered feminine by Japanese people.
Katakana - Developed by Buddhist monks around the same time as hiragana, these are simple, angular characters that also represent sounds and have no meaning of their own. You saw them cascading down the screen in Matrix (although they were backwards!)
Kanji - Originally from China, these characters are like pictures, representing a meaning and also several different sounds depending on the situation.
Just reading this has probably given you an idea of which style you might like for your tattoo - but don't stop just yet! Now you know what kinds of Japanese characters there are, let's move on to?
2. Writing styles
Come a bit closer. Lean forward towards the screen. That's right. Now, look at the words in front of you. Take a good, close look at the shapes of these letters. OK? Now tell me honestly: Would you want a tattoo in Times New Roman? How about Tahoma? What's that? You don't want a tattoo by Canon or Epson? Sure you don't. And in the same way, you don't want to have your Japanese tattoo looking like a printout either!
So, now we move on to writing styles. Just like there are three kinds of Japanese characters, there are also three ways they can be written. Don't worry. This is easy! I know, you are thinking that you can't even read Japanese, so how on earth will you be able to recognize these different styles? Well, try this:
Kaisho - Block letters. You learned to write your ABCs like this, and Japanese kids learn to write their characters in just the same way: Like a Volvo - boxy but good.
Gyousho - Cursive letters. You moved up to middle school and learned you could write faster by letting the parts of some letters flow into the next. Yes, you guessed it - the Japanese do the same thing, and they call it gyousho.
Sousho - Super-cursive letters. Ever seen a prescription from a doctor? Then you know what sousho is like in Japanese: Sure, the writer or some other trained person can (probably) read it, but no one else has a clue what it says!
Are you getting the picture? If you want to look like a computer printout, then be my guest and go for the kaisho style. That's your choice. But I think you probably want to use either gyousho or sousho for your tattoo. My personal preference would be gyousho: It's stylish, but it won't leave even native speakers baffled.
3. Real or fake?
Remember I mentioned Mel C at the beginning? Well guess what kanji she got tattooed on her arm? That's right - "Girl Power": Great in English, but show this kanji combination to most Japanese people and you'll get a blank look at best. Want a worse example? Try "big daddy". Now, you know what it means in English, but put it into kanji and you end up with "large father"! It just doesn't work.
I'm sure you remember that kanji are the only characters that have meaning as well as sound. And their beauty means that they are what most people want for their tattoos. But watch out: As well as being popular, they can also be the most dangerous!
Let's see if we can find a pattern here: Look carefully at the examples above. What are they communicating - concrete concepts or abstract ideas? Can you see the difficulty the translators had? The kanji for "dragon", "samurai", "love" or any other concrete ideas are pretty easy to discover. But go for anything with an idiomatic meaning and whoever is trying to help you translate it is going to get a major headache!
Just an idea, but how about this suggestion: Rather than trying to force a round English peg into a square Japanese hole, why not find a real Japanese phrase that you like and get that instead? Bushidou (the Way of the Warrior) and Ninjutsu (The Art of Stealth) are two good examples of real Japanese terms that would make great tattoos.
4. Your name in Japanese
As I'm sure you remember from 2-minute Japanese boot camp, katakana are the characters usually used to write foreign words and names. So, if you want to get a tattoo of your name, technically these would be the characters you would choose. But I am guessing that, like most people, you want your name written in kanji.
Do a quick search on Google and you can find a number of sites that specialize in translating names into kanji. Basically there are two different methods that these sites use, so let's look at them here.
Translating the meaning
This method involves finding out the original meaning of the English name, and then researching the kanji equivalent.
For example, my name has its origins in Greek and means "crowned one". The one who is crowned is the king, so I could translate my name into the kanji for king and call myself ohsama. (Perhaps a little pretentious - and disturbingly similar to Mr. Bin Laden's first name!)
Translating the sound
This is a lot more difficult! Flick through a dictionary and you will find a bunch of kanji that can be combined to sound like your name. But sound isn't everything: Remember that kanji have meaning as well. In fact, it is even more complex than this! Be sure to check each of the following factors with anyone who translates your name like us
Clearing a Path for Happiness
Clearing a Path for Happiness
In the United States, the pursuit of happiness is a god-given right and Americans have a document to prove it. But I wonder why the Founding Fathers deliberately phrased it, 'the pursuit of happiness', as if to say --- happiness in itself cannot be granted because it was, and still remains, tied to materialism. In the "pursuit" of happiness, it is each person's own definition: riches, health, religion, etc.
Take, as an example, the pessimist and optimist. If anything bad happens, the pessimist believes it will not last long but will surely undermine his life. He feels the deck is stacked against him, yet being more realistic than the optimist, he prepares himself for misfortune.
The optimist regards it as a temporary setback and goes about removing the obstacle. He risks more but these efforts give meaning to his life and he makes the best of it. To acquire is to be happy (so the culture teaches) therefore blessed are they for among them are corporate executives in their mansions.
There is enough on the subject of happiness to fill an ebook, but let's measure just one facet: the Internet. How much would it take to make you a happy Interneter? Has your 'big break' eluded you thus far? What kind of Internet success would give you a sense of control over your life - because when you think about it, "control over your life" is a huge slice of happiness.
To generate an income on the Internet, it must come through the development of integrity, character, and efforts on behalf of a cause greater than oneself. By doing the job with honesty, helpfulness, and concern for others, we may have to take some time from our busy schedule to 'coach' a struggling newbie. This mindset offers an easier path to your own success.
Personally, I have not set goals of Internet success so high that it would plunge me into depression when deprived of a six figure income. Given the years (like me) you have labored the Internet, you must avoid the "joy-busters" out to derail your efforts. Only then can you begin living up to your full potential. You will discover more energy and creativity, better relationships, healthier thoughts leading to new ideas and a more rewarding income.
Is there a difference between the life you have - and the life you want? Do you think excuses or results? You can change this today; be that singer who is tone-deaf but sings anyway for the sheer joy it offers.
Jim Leonard wrote, "Happiness is a skill. As with other skills, you can get better at it." He suggests that at this point in your life you might think that things are not the way they should be. Yet things are the way they are. If you can be happy in that reality, then you will improve your life faster and reach your goals easier. Energy will not be wasted on friction or regrets.
What you have is the present moment. Use it - enjoy it.
© 2004 Esther Smith
Esther Smith is editor of Partners-For-Profit Newsletter; always a good read and publisher of http://thepermanentventure.com and http://MoreOnlineCash.com - Subscribers to PFP receive a weekly diet of marketing and advertising reports, fr*ee bonuses, ad space and 5-star resources to start up, run and explode your business venture. clendon@thepermanentventure.com?subject=subscribe
In the United States, the pursuit of happiness is a god-given right and Americans have a document to prove it. But I wonder why the Founding Fathers deliberately phrased it, 'the pursuit of happiness', as if to say --- happiness in itself cannot be granted because it was, and still remains, tied to materialism. In the "pursuit" of happiness, it is each person's own definition: riches, health, religion, etc.
Take, as an example, the pessimist and optimist. If anything bad happens, the pessimist believes it will not last long but will surely undermine his life. He feels the deck is stacked against him, yet being more realistic than the optimist, he prepares himself for misfortune.
The optimist regards it as a temporary setback and goes about removing the obstacle. He risks more but these efforts give meaning to his life and he makes the best of it. To acquire is to be happy (so the culture teaches) therefore blessed are they for among them are corporate executives in their mansions.
There is enough on the subject of happiness to fill an ebook, but let's measure just one facet: the Internet. How much would it take to make you a happy Interneter? Has your 'big break' eluded you thus far? What kind of Internet success would give you a sense of control over your life - because when you think about it, "control over your life" is a huge slice of happiness.
To generate an income on the Internet, it must come through the development of integrity, character, and efforts on behalf of a cause greater than oneself. By doing the job with honesty, helpfulness, and concern for others, we may have to take some time from our busy schedule to 'coach' a struggling newbie. This mindset offers an easier path to your own success.
Personally, I have not set goals of Internet success so high that it would plunge me into depression when deprived of a six figure income. Given the years (like me) you have labored the Internet, you must avoid the "joy-busters" out to derail your efforts. Only then can you begin living up to your full potential. You will discover more energy and creativity, better relationships, healthier thoughts leading to new ideas and a more rewarding income.
Is there a difference between the life you have - and the life you want? Do you think excuses or results? You can change this today; be that singer who is tone-deaf but sings anyway for the sheer joy it offers.
Jim Leonard wrote, "Happiness is a skill. As with other skills, you can get better at it." He suggests that at this point in your life you might think that things are not the way they should be. Yet things are the way they are. If you can be happy in that reality, then you will improve your life faster and reach your goals easier. Energy will not be wasted on friction or regrets.
What you have is the present moment. Use it - enjoy it.
© 2004 Esther Smith
Esther Smith is editor of Partners-For-Profit Newsletter; always a good read and publisher of http://thepermanentventure.com and http://MoreOnlineCash.com - Subscribers to PFP receive a weekly diet of marketing and advertising reports, fr*ee bonuses, ad space and 5-star resources to start up, run and explode your business venture. clendon@thepermanentventure.com?subject=subscribe
Design Psychology: How to Create Happy Homes Using Scents
Design Psychology: How to Create Happy Homes Using Scents
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and trigger powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.
Scents and Feelings
Our olfactory system sends a chemical message about the scents around us through the limbic part of our brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. In seconds, that message is telegraphed to our central nervous system, which, in turn, controls how our body functions and how we feel about those smells.
Scents also influence the temperature we feel emotionally. For instance, a grass matting floor covering has a pleasant scent, and makes us feel cooler, while the aroma of fresh baked bread creates a warm feeling of being loved. Marine scents, such as salty sea air, refresh us, while spice and wood scents bring warm thoughts.
The Evolution of Aromatherapy
The ancient civilizations of Arabia, Babylon, China, Egypt, Greece, India, and Rome all used the aromas of scented plants, flowers, and woods to heal and protect. Religious and spiritual ceremonies have used aromas to arouse mankind's deeply spiritual nature from the dawn of time. Today, the science of aromatherapy, which is a holistic healing practice, uses essential oils and herbs, to treat stress-related illnesses, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive ailments, and even skin problems.
The Effects of Scent on Emotions
Essential oils influence our emotions within seconds of inhalation. For instance, clary sage stimulates the thalamus to release a hormone called encephalon, a neurochemical that creates a sense of euphoria and provides pain relief. Lavender and chamomile fuel the release of serotonin, which has a calming effect on fear, stress, aggravation, or insomnia.
Scents activate the deep part of the brain, where memories are stored. You can recreate pleasant memories and share them with your family and friends through the use of smells. For instance, my mother often baked a cake just before we kids arrived home from school. Now that I've grown up, we don't eat as much cake in our home, but sharing a vanilla scent with my children often prompts them to share stories about their grandmother.
Smells are a powerful link with the memories of our past. My mother used to tell me stories of her grandmother, whose home smelled like baked cinnamon rolls in the morning and exotic, tangy spices in the evening.
The sense of smell, a potent tool in Interior Design Psychology, brings a feeling of harmony and serenity to any room in a home. Embrace the scents you love and those that conjure pleasant memories, and make the use of scent an integral part of your overall design plan.
Copyright (c) 2004 by Jeanette J. Fisher
Professor Jeanette Fisher, author of Doghouse to Dollhouse for Dollars, Joy to the Home, and other books teaches Real Estate Investing and Design Psychology. For more articles, tips, reports, newsletters, and sales flyer template, see http://www.doghousetodollhousefordollars.com/pages/5/index.htm
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and trigger powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.
Scents and Feelings
Our olfactory system sends a chemical message about the scents around us through the limbic part of our brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. In seconds, that message is telegraphed to our central nervous system, which, in turn, controls how our body functions and how we feel about those smells.
Scents also influence the temperature we feel emotionally. For instance, a grass matting floor covering has a pleasant scent, and makes us feel cooler, while the aroma of fresh baked bread creates a warm feeling of being loved. Marine scents, such as salty sea air, refresh us, while spice and wood scents bring warm thoughts.
The Evolution of Aromatherapy
The ancient civilizations of Arabia, Babylon, China, Egypt, Greece, India, and Rome all used the aromas of scented plants, flowers, and woods to heal and protect. Religious and spiritual ceremonies have used aromas to arouse mankind's deeply spiritual nature from the dawn of time. Today, the science of aromatherapy, which is a holistic healing practice, uses essential oils and herbs, to treat stress-related illnesses, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive ailments, and even skin problems.
The Effects of Scent on Emotions
Essential oils influence our emotions within seconds of inhalation. For instance, clary sage stimulates the thalamus to release a hormone called encephalon, a neurochemical that creates a sense of euphoria and provides pain relief. Lavender and chamomile fuel the release of serotonin, which has a calming effect on fear, stress, aggravation, or insomnia.
Scents activate the deep part of the brain, where memories are stored. You can recreate pleasant memories and share them with your family and friends through the use of smells. For instance, my mother often baked a cake just before we kids arrived home from school. Now that I've grown up, we don't eat as much cake in our home, but sharing a vanilla scent with my children often prompts them to share stories about their grandmother.
Smells are a powerful link with the memories of our past. My mother used to tell me stories of her grandmother, whose home smelled like baked cinnamon rolls in the morning and exotic, tangy spices in the evening.
The sense of smell, a potent tool in Interior Design Psychology, brings a feeling of harmony and serenity to any room in a home. Embrace the scents you love and those that conjure pleasant memories, and make the use of scent an integral part of your overall design plan.
Copyright (c) 2004 by Jeanette J. Fisher
Professor Jeanette Fisher, author of Doghouse to Dollhouse for Dollars, Joy to the Home, and other books teaches Real Estate Investing and Design Psychology. For more articles, tips, reports, newsletters, and sales flyer template, see http://www.doghousetodollhousefordollars.com/pages/5/index.htm
Design Psychology: How Our Sensory Responses to Aromas Create Happy Homes
Design Psychology: How Our Sensory Responses to Aromas Create Happy Homes
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and triggers powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.
Scents and Feelings
Our olfactory system sends a chemical message about the scents around us through the limbic part of our brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. In seconds, that message is telegraphed to our central nervous system, which, in turn, controls how our body functions and how we feel about those smells.
Scents also influence the temperature we feel emotionally. For instance, a grass matting floor covering has a pleasant scent, and makes us feel cooler, while the aroma of fresh baked bread creates a warm feeling of being loved. Marine scents, such as salty sea air, refresh us, while spice and wood scents bring warm thoughts.
The Evolution of Aromatherapy
The ancient civilizations of Arabia, Babylon, China, Egypt, Greece, India, and Rome all used the aromas of scented plants, flowers, and woods to heal and protect. Religious and spiritual ceremonies have used aromas to arouse mankind's deeply spiritual nature from the dawn of time. Today, the science of aromatherapy, which is a holistic healing practice, uses essential oils and herbs, to treat stress-related illnesses, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive ailments, and even skin problems.
The Effects of Scent on Emotions
Essential oils influence our emotions within seconds of inhalation. For instance, clary sage stimulates the thalamus to release a hormone called encephalon, a neurochemical that creates a sense of euphoria and provides pain relief. Lavender and chamomile fuel the release of serotonin, which has a calming effect on fear, stress, aggravation, or insomnia.
Scents activate the deep part of the brain, where memories are stored. You can recreate pleasant memories and share them with your family and friends through the use of smells. For instance, my mother often baked a cake just before we kids arrived home from school. Now that I've grown up, we don't eat as much cake in our home, but sharing a vanilla scent with my children often prompts them to share stories about their grandmother.
Smells are a powerful link with the memories of our past. My mother used to tell me stories of her grandmother, whose home smelled like baked cinnamon rolls in the morning and exotic, tangy spices in the evening.
The sense of smell, a potent tool in Interior Design Psychology, brings a feeling of harmony and serenity to any room in a home. Embrace the scents you love and those that conjure pleasant memories, and make the use of scent an integral part of your overall design plan.
Copyright (c) 2004 by Jeanette J. Fisher
Jeanette Fisher, Design Psychology Professor, is the author of Joy to the Home eNewsletter. Discover innovative Interior Design Psychology and makeover your home to support happiness, productivity, and well-being. For Design Psychology information, see http://www.designpsych.com/ For more information about "Joy to the Home," see http://www.joytothehome.com/
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and triggers powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.
Scents and Feelings
Our olfactory system sends a chemical message about the scents around us through the limbic part of our brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. In seconds, that message is telegraphed to our central nervous system, which, in turn, controls how our body functions and how we feel about those smells.
Scents also influence the temperature we feel emotionally. For instance, a grass matting floor covering has a pleasant scent, and makes us feel cooler, while the aroma of fresh baked bread creates a warm feeling of being loved. Marine scents, such as salty sea air, refresh us, while spice and wood scents bring warm thoughts.
The Evolution of Aromatherapy
The ancient civilizations of Arabia, Babylon, China, Egypt, Greece, India, and Rome all used the aromas of scented plants, flowers, and woods to heal and protect. Religious and spiritual ceremonies have used aromas to arouse mankind's deeply spiritual nature from the dawn of time. Today, the science of aromatherapy, which is a holistic healing practice, uses essential oils and herbs, to treat stress-related illnesses, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive ailments, and even skin problems.
The Effects of Scent on Emotions
Essential oils influence our emotions within seconds of inhalation. For instance, clary sage stimulates the thalamus to release a hormone called encephalon, a neurochemical that creates a sense of euphoria and provides pain relief. Lavender and chamomile fuel the release of serotonin, which has a calming effect on fear, stress, aggravation, or insomnia.
Scents activate the deep part of the brain, where memories are stored. You can recreate pleasant memories and share them with your family and friends through the use of smells. For instance, my mother often baked a cake just before we kids arrived home from school. Now that I've grown up, we don't eat as much cake in our home, but sharing a vanilla scent with my children often prompts them to share stories about their grandmother.
Smells are a powerful link with the memories of our past. My mother used to tell me stories of her grandmother, whose home smelled like baked cinnamon rolls in the morning and exotic, tangy spices in the evening.
The sense of smell, a potent tool in Interior Design Psychology, brings a feeling of harmony and serenity to any room in a home. Embrace the scents you love and those that conjure pleasant memories, and make the use of scent an integral part of your overall design plan.
Copyright (c) 2004 by Jeanette J. Fisher
Jeanette Fisher, Design Psychology Professor, is the author of Joy to the Home eNewsletter. Discover innovative Interior Design Psychology and makeover your home to support happiness, productivity, and well-being. For Design Psychology information, see http://www.designpsych.com/ For more information about "Joy to the Home," see http://www.joytothehome.com/
How To Be Outrageously Happy
How To Be Outrageously Happy
You can be as happy as you want whenever you want. Zen masters have proven this - all you have to do is just "be" with whatever you have right now. Yeah, I know. Sitting on the floor contemplating your blank space may not be what you're after. Highly successful people are outrageously happy because they have fulfilling ways to meet their values. What are values? Well I'm not talking about Dan Quayle and Murphy Brown, or Limp Bizkit's recent family values tour. Values are simply what is most important to you.
Do your values move you towards great possibilities? Is your energy directed towards meeting your values in ways that excite you and make you stronger, capable of going for even more? When you are clear on your values, your vision is bright, and you will feel primed to go for it.
How To Achieve A Big Vision
Get clear on your values
Set specific outcomes that stretch you
Model outstanding people who have similar achievements
Take action and go for it 100%
Be aware of what's working and what's not
Change your approach until you get your outcome
Model For Rapid Success
The 21st Century - what an exciting time to be in business. We have eBusiness, eCommerce, eLove (well maybe not yet, but I'm sure some VC or Angel is working on it), eEtc. In this competitive environment where everything is moving at eSpeed, modeling outstanding people is the fastest way to eSuccess.
Highly Successful Entrepreneurial People
They focus on what they want, rather than on what they fear
They see what's possible, where others lack vision
When they are doing the right thing, they just know it
They focus on the big picture, without getting lost in the details
They are interested in how to get results now
They take massive action and intelligent risks to get what they want.
© 1999-2004 Shamus Brown, All Rights Reserved.
Shamus Brown is a Professional Sales Coach and former high-tech sales pro who began his career selling for IBM. Shamus has written more than 50 articles on selling and is the creator of the popular Persuasive Selling Skills CD Audio Program. You can read more of Shamus Brown's sales tips at http://Sales-Tips.industrialEGO.com/ and you can learn more about his persuasive sales skills training at http://www.Persuasive-Sales-Skills.com/
You can be as happy as you want whenever you want. Zen masters have proven this - all you have to do is just "be" with whatever you have right now. Yeah, I know. Sitting on the floor contemplating your blank space may not be what you're after. Highly successful people are outrageously happy because they have fulfilling ways to meet their values. What are values? Well I'm not talking about Dan Quayle and Murphy Brown, or Limp Bizkit's recent family values tour. Values are simply what is most important to you.
Do your values move you towards great possibilities? Is your energy directed towards meeting your values in ways that excite you and make you stronger, capable of going for even more? When you are clear on your values, your vision is bright, and you will feel primed to go for it.
How To Achieve A Big Vision
Get clear on your values
Set specific outcomes that stretch you
Model outstanding people who have similar achievements
Take action and go for it 100%
Be aware of what's working and what's not
Change your approach until you get your outcome
Model For Rapid Success
The 21st Century - what an exciting time to be in business. We have eBusiness, eCommerce, eLove (well maybe not yet, but I'm sure some VC or Angel is working on it), eEtc. In this competitive environment where everything is moving at eSpeed, modeling outstanding people is the fastest way to eSuccess.
Highly Successful Entrepreneurial People
They focus on what they want, rather than on what they fear
They see what's possible, where others lack vision
When they are doing the right thing, they just know it
They focus on the big picture, without getting lost in the details
They are interested in how to get results now
They take massive action and intelligent risks to get what they want.
© 1999-2004 Shamus Brown, All Rights Reserved.
Shamus Brown is a Professional Sales Coach and former high-tech sales pro who began his career selling for IBM. Shamus has written more than 50 articles on selling and is the creator of the popular Persuasive Selling Skills CD Audio Program. You can read more of Shamus Brown's sales tips at http://Sales-Tips.industrialEGO.com/ and you can learn more about his persuasive sales skills training at http://www.Persuasive-Sales-Skills.com/
Achievement and Happiness the 80/20 Way
Achievement and Happiness the 80/20 Way
If there was ever a principle that was responsible for the most happiness and achievement in the world, it would be the 80/20 Principle.
The 80/20 Principle or Pareto Principle was discovered in 1897 by an Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto while he was searching for patterns of wealth and income in England.
What he found was that 80 percent of the wealth was enjoyed by only 20 percent of the population. Additionally, it was consistent in different countries and in different times.
This has been found in present day as well and in almost any activity that we perform, business or otherwise.
In other words, 80 percent of your results in a given activity, are generated by 20 percent of your input or effort. Just the same, 80 percent of revenue or profits are generated by 20 percent of your efforts or sales.
The 80/20 relationship can also easily be documented in personal achievement and happiness.
Most people have never taken the time to count their achievements or much less figure out what makes them happy. If they did, they would have realized that there are very few things that contribute to most of their happiness. They would also have found that there are very few things that they have done that has resulted in most of their achievements.
A great example of the 80/20 Principle in achievement would be to look at some achievement that you've made in your life, and write down all of the things that you did that "truly" got you there. If you're looking at it honestly you'll see that it took consistent effort on very few things to get you most of your results.
My website http://www.RasheedAli.com is another great example. I could have spent a lot of working hours and even more money to get my traffic up, but in reality it took very little work and money to get my Alexa traffic rank from over 3,000,000 in the world to currently 212,901 and climbing every week! It has taken very few, small but effective steps to achieve this. You will find this time and time again in your life if you take a closer look. What you may have thought of as hard work may have been a few effective actions combined with many ineffective actions. By the way, this was done in less than three months.
Now, although achievement makes us happy, what else does?
A serious "Happiness Analysis" is also something all of us should do at least once in our lives. If you documented the things that contribute to your happiness then number the things that make you the happiest, you will find that there are only a few things that contribute to most of your happiness. In other words 20 percent of the things that make you happy, contribute to 80 percent of your happiness!
With that said, if you were to spend more time doing the things that result in most of your happiness or achievement, you WILL double or even triple your results.
*** Rasheed Ali was once a homeless runaway on the streets of NY and is now changing the lives of thousands of people from all walks of life...Helping them reach their ultimate potential by conquering any and all obstacles through his Conquer Your Adversity Newsletter. He is also co-founder of http://www.SleepYourWayToRiches.com You can subscribe to his newsletter at http://www.RasheedAli.com ***
If there was ever a principle that was responsible for the most happiness and achievement in the world, it would be the 80/20 Principle.
The 80/20 Principle or Pareto Principle was discovered in 1897 by an Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto while he was searching for patterns of wealth and income in England.
What he found was that 80 percent of the wealth was enjoyed by only 20 percent of the population. Additionally, it was consistent in different countries and in different times.
This has been found in present day as well and in almost any activity that we perform, business or otherwise.
In other words, 80 percent of your results in a given activity, are generated by 20 percent of your input or effort. Just the same, 80 percent of revenue or profits are generated by 20 percent of your efforts or sales.
The 80/20 relationship can also easily be documented in personal achievement and happiness.
Most people have never taken the time to count their achievements or much less figure out what makes them happy. If they did, they would have realized that there are very few things that contribute to most of their happiness. They would also have found that there are very few things that they have done that has resulted in most of their achievements.
A great example of the 80/20 Principle in achievement would be to look at some achievement that you've made in your life, and write down all of the things that you did that "truly" got you there. If you're looking at it honestly you'll see that it took consistent effort on very few things to get you most of your results.
My website http://www.RasheedAli.com is another great example. I could have spent a lot of working hours and even more money to get my traffic up, but in reality it took very little work and money to get my Alexa traffic rank from over 3,000,000 in the world to currently 212,901 and climbing every week! It has taken very few, small but effective steps to achieve this. You will find this time and time again in your life if you take a closer look. What you may have thought of as hard work may have been a few effective actions combined with many ineffective actions. By the way, this was done in less than three months.
Now, although achievement makes us happy, what else does?
A serious "Happiness Analysis" is also something all of us should do at least once in our lives. If you documented the things that contribute to your happiness then number the things that make you the happiest, you will find that there are only a few things that contribute to most of your happiness. In other words 20 percent of the things that make you happy, contribute to 80 percent of your happiness!
With that said, if you were to spend more time doing the things that result in most of your happiness or achievement, you WILL double or even triple your results.
*** Rasheed Ali was once a homeless runaway on the streets of NY and is now changing the lives of thousands of people from all walks of life...Helping them reach their ultimate potential by conquering any and all obstacles through his Conquer Your Adversity Newsletter. He is also co-founder of http://www.SleepYourWayToRiches.com You can subscribe to his newsletter at http://www.RasheedAli.com ***
Happiness and the Single Person; Changing Myth Into Reality
Happiness and the Single Person; Changing Myth Into Reality
Does the expression "single and happy" sound like an oxymoron to you? Are you weary of others (especially other singles) reinforcing the belief that singles cannot be happy? Do you find yourself always planning for the future or putting things off until you "are married and settled? Do you often have a sense that the intense feelings of happiness and joy cannot really be experienced unless you "have someone to share it with?" Do you just feel there is not enough time and other necessary resources available to the single person to pursue experiences that can bring true happiness?
If the above resonates in your gut, do not despair. The following tips will offer ways to help you experience your present reality differently through changing behavior that is based on those negative (false) beliefs. Essentially, these tips will offer advice on how to live a joyful, fulfilling and balanced single life, which will also assist you in achieving a healthy, long- term, intimate relationship.
· Seek self-fulfillment as an individual.
Place emphasis on being truly alive and experiencing the things that bring you true pleasure. Do not let the feelings of peace and wonder slip from your life as you wait to share (beautiful sunsets) and other gifts of life with a future partner.
Do not place your focus on "getting there." Instead, learn to experience the journey of life. If you can only see the goal of a relationship - marriage, home, children, etc., you will not enjoy the experiences along life's way.
A good analogy for this is that of a person who bikes and sets (ie), a 40-mile goal for the day. They plan and prepare and off they go. The trip consists of thoughts about getting there, watching for problems in the road ahead, measuring the distance and looking forward to the sense of relief and accomplishment when the goal is met.
What about the sensory experiences missed along the way? This biker will not see the way the sun is reflecting on the river. They will not hear the sounds of the birds and other wildlife in the parallel world around them. The smells of fresh vegetation, moist soil and spring-drenched air will not reach their awareness. It is doubtful their mind will trip and play with thoughts of other (perhaps childhood) days like this.
In other words, they will not be IN the experience, just racing through it, and missing the magic available all around them.
· Do not put off important life decisions while waiting for that special someone.
If your desire is to own your own home, work towards achieving this now. Yes, it may be smaller than if you had a partner to share it with. Your list of must-haves with this first home may be different (as yours alone) than they would be if you were looking for a family. When that time comes, you can make the decision to remain there for a time, or sell/rent out your first place. In the meantime, you will have an investment that you can make into something that meets your needs now for comfortable and secure living. It will add stability and be a wonderful help at tax time.
If you are thinking about making a career change or going back to school for a degree, there is no better time than now.
Yes, this may involve re-working priorities, moving, giving up some income, etc. If this is something you have decided you want for your life, delaying it until you are settled in a relationship may make it impossible to achieve. Make that move now. Do not let this time in your life be placed on hold as you wait for things to happen in your life, instead of working to make them become reality.
· Pamper yourself
Do nice things for yourself now that you have been putting off until?
Go ahead and take that trip to the exotic place you have always wanted to visit. You can return there someday with your special someone.
Make it a habit to set the table for your dinner (for one). Use nice china and candles. Treat yourself as deserving of the things couples routinely provide to themselves as a unit. Ask yourself, am I less deserving because I am single?
Put care and love into how you decorate your home. It does not have to cost a lot of money or become another chore to accomplish this. Make it a comfortable nest and retreat from the world. You and your future mate can decide together what to keep, change or add to.
* Make a plan, not excuses
Make time for the things that matter. Do not let your job or other responsibilities take over your life. Set those priorities. Set limits on work and other functional tasks. We often cite work as our best excuse for not attending to our other needs and wants. This may mean making less money or not moving up as fast in the organization.
Without balance, there will be deficits in the emotional, spiritual, and social and leisure areas of your life. Write down your must haves.
Take time out each day for unwinding and relaxation. Keep a weekly inventory of how you are doing and make adjustments as necessary.
Learn how to productively "waste time". Turn off the blackberry and TV. Spend time alone with your thoughts. Reflect on your feelings and your life.
This is the season for new beginnings. Let this spring be your time for learning how to be truly happy and at peace within yourself. Immerse your senses in the many joys that the world around you has to offer. Don't shut out the beauty and happiness that is available to everyone, regardless of their relationship status.
Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia. She specializes in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly. http://www.consum-mate.com
Does the expression "single and happy" sound like an oxymoron to you? Are you weary of others (especially other singles) reinforcing the belief that singles cannot be happy? Do you find yourself always planning for the future or putting things off until you "are married and settled? Do you often have a sense that the intense feelings of happiness and joy cannot really be experienced unless you "have someone to share it with?" Do you just feel there is not enough time and other necessary resources available to the single person to pursue experiences that can bring true happiness?
If the above resonates in your gut, do not despair. The following tips will offer ways to help you experience your present reality differently through changing behavior that is based on those negative (false) beliefs. Essentially, these tips will offer advice on how to live a joyful, fulfilling and balanced single life, which will also assist you in achieving a healthy, long- term, intimate relationship.
· Seek self-fulfillment as an individual.
Place emphasis on being truly alive and experiencing the things that bring you true pleasure. Do not let the feelings of peace and wonder slip from your life as you wait to share (beautiful sunsets) and other gifts of life with a future partner.
Do not place your focus on "getting there." Instead, learn to experience the journey of life. If you can only see the goal of a relationship - marriage, home, children, etc., you will not enjoy the experiences along life's way.
A good analogy for this is that of a person who bikes and sets (ie), a 40-mile goal for the day. They plan and prepare and off they go. The trip consists of thoughts about getting there, watching for problems in the road ahead, measuring the distance and looking forward to the sense of relief and accomplishment when the goal is met.
What about the sensory experiences missed along the way? This biker will not see the way the sun is reflecting on the river. They will not hear the sounds of the birds and other wildlife in the parallel world around them. The smells of fresh vegetation, moist soil and spring-drenched air will not reach their awareness. It is doubtful their mind will trip and play with thoughts of other (perhaps childhood) days like this.
In other words, they will not be IN the experience, just racing through it, and missing the magic available all around them.
· Do not put off important life decisions while waiting for that special someone.
If your desire is to own your own home, work towards achieving this now. Yes, it may be smaller than if you had a partner to share it with. Your list of must-haves with this first home may be different (as yours alone) than they would be if you were looking for a family. When that time comes, you can make the decision to remain there for a time, or sell/rent out your first place. In the meantime, you will have an investment that you can make into something that meets your needs now for comfortable and secure living. It will add stability and be a wonderful help at tax time.
If you are thinking about making a career change or going back to school for a degree, there is no better time than now.
Yes, this may involve re-working priorities, moving, giving up some income, etc. If this is something you have decided you want for your life, delaying it until you are settled in a relationship may make it impossible to achieve. Make that move now. Do not let this time in your life be placed on hold as you wait for things to happen in your life, instead of working to make them become reality.
· Pamper yourself
Do nice things for yourself now that you have been putting off until?
Go ahead and take that trip to the exotic place you have always wanted to visit. You can return there someday with your special someone.
Make it a habit to set the table for your dinner (for one). Use nice china and candles. Treat yourself as deserving of the things couples routinely provide to themselves as a unit. Ask yourself, am I less deserving because I am single?
Put care and love into how you decorate your home. It does not have to cost a lot of money or become another chore to accomplish this. Make it a comfortable nest and retreat from the world. You and your future mate can decide together what to keep, change or add to.
* Make a plan, not excuses
Make time for the things that matter. Do not let your job or other responsibilities take over your life. Set those priorities. Set limits on work and other functional tasks. We often cite work as our best excuse for not attending to our other needs and wants. This may mean making less money or not moving up as fast in the organization.
Without balance, there will be deficits in the emotional, spiritual, and social and leisure areas of your life. Write down your must haves.
Take time out each day for unwinding and relaxation. Keep a weekly inventory of how you are doing and make adjustments as necessary.
Learn how to productively "waste time". Turn off the blackberry and TV. Spend time alone with your thoughts. Reflect on your feelings and your life.
This is the season for new beginnings. Let this spring be your time for learning how to be truly happy and at peace within yourself. Immerse your senses in the many joys that the world around you has to offer. Don't shut out the beauty and happiness that is available to everyone, regardless of their relationship status.
Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia. She specializes in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly. http://www.consum-mate.com
Getting To The Root Of Unhappiness
Getting To The Root Of Unhappiness
Many people live in clutter, emotionally eat themselves into overweight, live in debt, hate their jobs and otherwise live unhappy lives, unable and seemingly unwilling to change. Why? What do these have in common? What is the core issue?
Fear, or rather an absence of love.
Fear, and not hate, is the "dark side" or opposite/absence of love, the way darkness is the opposite/absence of light.
Whether your self image is controlled by unhealthy or uncontrolled overweight or fanatic perfection, both stem from fear. In the first, food is used to comfort upset emotions and to retreat into - a true friend that never lets you down. In the latter (and sometimes the former), control over the body supplants a loss of control elsewhere in life, eventually taking over that life.
Clutter is almost always fear-based - fear of not having something and needing it, fear of getting rid of something important, fear of leaving oneself open to new experiences (which can't come in because your house - and by extension your life - is already full) and fear of being alone with oneself and one's thoughts (clutter requires so much of our energy to deal with and work around, it can serve as a sort of mental static to keep us too busy to think about important things).
Debt is another symptom of fear - people get into debt for many fear-based reasons (like needing stuff to make themselves feel better, or for fear of not keeping up with the Jones' and being socially outcast). Another part to this equation is that many people will not get rid of their access to credit (cut up cards, etc) because there is always that "what if an emergency happens and we don't have cash on hand to pay for it?" which is made moot by the fact that most of their credit cards are maxed out anyway. Debt is also a symptom of the fear of doing without, even when carried to extremes. The fear of going without and the feelings of "being without" fancy clothes or expensive meals out is no less than the fear and experience of going without basic clothing and food, although the reality is different.
Working at a job you hate is nothing but fear - fear of not having enough, fear of quitting and not being able to find other work (or finding it and being stuck with something even worse), fear of not being to keep up with your "stuff habit" or your debt, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of relying on yourself, fear of doing things differently or out-of-the-box (running your own business, running off to Mexico, etc), fear of letting the family down, fear of "wasting" your education, fear of what other will say, think, fear that your mom/dad/sister/evil art teacher were right and so on.
Fear is the basis for pretty much all human suffering, not counting natural disasters and other acts of God. And the opposite of fear is love. Love creates an ecosphere of calm and plenty, because you know there is enough (if only just enough) and so feel no need to "get mine before someone else does." Nor do you feel the need to hoard (clutter) or gather in more than you can afford (debt) to assure yourself of plenty. In a world of love, all are accepted and loved for their own personal strengths and forgiven their faults, therefore negating the need for drowning in the comfort of stuff and food (debt and overweight), or worrying about what others will think if you quit your job to become a Mexican portrait painter (toxic job). And on and on.
Learn to live with love, for yourself and for others, even when they don't meet your standards (even the rich and awful deserve your love, for they serve their purpose, too). Creating a world of love is up to each of us. We cannot wait to see if others take the first step. They are waiting for us.
(c) Soni Pitts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.
She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.
Many people live in clutter, emotionally eat themselves into overweight, live in debt, hate their jobs and otherwise live unhappy lives, unable and seemingly unwilling to change. Why? What do these have in common? What is the core issue?
Fear, or rather an absence of love.
Fear, and not hate, is the "dark side" or opposite/absence of love, the way darkness is the opposite/absence of light.
Whether your self image is controlled by unhealthy or uncontrolled overweight or fanatic perfection, both stem from fear. In the first, food is used to comfort upset emotions and to retreat into - a true friend that never lets you down. In the latter (and sometimes the former), control over the body supplants a loss of control elsewhere in life, eventually taking over that life.
Clutter is almost always fear-based - fear of not having something and needing it, fear of getting rid of something important, fear of leaving oneself open to new experiences (which can't come in because your house - and by extension your life - is already full) and fear of being alone with oneself and one's thoughts (clutter requires so much of our energy to deal with and work around, it can serve as a sort of mental static to keep us too busy to think about important things).
Debt is another symptom of fear - people get into debt for many fear-based reasons (like needing stuff to make themselves feel better, or for fear of not keeping up with the Jones' and being socially outcast). Another part to this equation is that many people will not get rid of their access to credit (cut up cards, etc) because there is always that "what if an emergency happens and we don't have cash on hand to pay for it?" which is made moot by the fact that most of their credit cards are maxed out anyway. Debt is also a symptom of the fear of doing without, even when carried to extremes. The fear of going without and the feelings of "being without" fancy clothes or expensive meals out is no less than the fear and experience of going without basic clothing and food, although the reality is different.
Working at a job you hate is nothing but fear - fear of not having enough, fear of quitting and not being able to find other work (or finding it and being stuck with something even worse), fear of not being to keep up with your "stuff habit" or your debt, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of relying on yourself, fear of doing things differently or out-of-the-box (running your own business, running off to Mexico, etc), fear of letting the family down, fear of "wasting" your education, fear of what other will say, think, fear that your mom/dad/sister/evil art teacher were right and so on.
Fear is the basis for pretty much all human suffering, not counting natural disasters and other acts of God. And the opposite of fear is love. Love creates an ecosphere of calm and plenty, because you know there is enough (if only just enough) and so feel no need to "get mine before someone else does." Nor do you feel the need to hoard (clutter) or gather in more than you can afford (debt) to assure yourself of plenty. In a world of love, all are accepted and loved for their own personal strengths and forgiven their faults, therefore negating the need for drowning in the comfort of stuff and food (debt and overweight), or worrying about what others will think if you quit your job to become a Mexican portrait painter (toxic job). And on and on.
Learn to live with love, for yourself and for others, even when they don't meet your standards (even the rich and awful deserve your love, for they serve their purpose, too). Creating a world of love is up to each of us. We cannot wait to see if others take the first step. They are waiting for us.
(c) Soni Pitts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.
She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.
The ABCs Of A Great Life: J Is For Joviality
The ABCs Of A Great Life: J Is For Joviality
Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of these are an important part of a well-balanced breakfast, er, life. Without humor, there is no hope. Without laughter, no love. And with a heavy heart, we live only a life of sadness and despair. Our ability to laugh at our foibles and laugh with our friends is a key indicator for predicting how readily we'll bounce back from difficulties and how well we'll handle the curveballs that life throws our way, and a quick smile is always the best defense in a situation that's hit a sour note.
In addition, medical studies have shown that indeed, laughter is the best medicine. Not only does it flood our brain with "feel good" hormones and exercise our body's core trunk muscles with spontaneous and deep contractions, but it noticeably and effectively raises our immune system's defenses in ways that are only now being fully explored - an effect which lasts considerably longer than the laughter that triggered it. Laughing lowers your blood pressure and exercises the heart. It relieves stress and helps generate an overall stability of well-being.
People with notably jovial attitudes are seen as friendlier and better adjusted, and people are drawn to them like flies to honey. Socialization with peers becomes smoother and more enjoyable, and people can't wait to rejoin and reestablish the acquaintance of those with a good sense of humor.
Of course, this does not include "humor" that hurts - biting sarcasm, "witty" putdowns, jokes made at the expense of others, mockery and other such imposters. It is doubtful that any of these recreate the same effects as true humor and lightheartedness, and I know for a fact that they attract far fewer friends.
Go on, laugh! It's good for you. Learn to bring laughter and joviality into your life and every step of the way will be filled with the warm embrace of good times spent with good friends in good health. Salut!
(c) Soni Pitts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.
She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.
Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of these are an important part of a well-balanced breakfast, er, life. Without humor, there is no hope. Without laughter, no love. And with a heavy heart, we live only a life of sadness and despair. Our ability to laugh at our foibles and laugh with our friends is a key indicator for predicting how readily we'll bounce back from difficulties and how well we'll handle the curveballs that life throws our way, and a quick smile is always the best defense in a situation that's hit a sour note.
In addition, medical studies have shown that indeed, laughter is the best medicine. Not only does it flood our brain with "feel good" hormones and exercise our body's core trunk muscles with spontaneous and deep contractions, but it noticeably and effectively raises our immune system's defenses in ways that are only now being fully explored - an effect which lasts considerably longer than the laughter that triggered it. Laughing lowers your blood pressure and exercises the heart. It relieves stress and helps generate an overall stability of well-being.
People with notably jovial attitudes are seen as friendlier and better adjusted, and people are drawn to them like flies to honey. Socialization with peers becomes smoother and more enjoyable, and people can't wait to rejoin and reestablish the acquaintance of those with a good sense of humor.
Of course, this does not include "humor" that hurts - biting sarcasm, "witty" putdowns, jokes made at the expense of others, mockery and other such imposters. It is doubtful that any of these recreate the same effects as true humor and lightheartedness, and I know for a fact that they attract far fewer friends.
Go on, laugh! It's good for you. Learn to bring laughter and joviality into your life and every step of the way will be filled with the warm embrace of good times spent with good friends in good health. Salut!
(c) Soni Pitts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.
She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.
Dont Let Life Happen to You
Dont Let Life Happen to You
Don't Let Life Happen To You
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. - Marcus Aurelius (121-80 AD, Roman Emperor, Philosopher)
It's hard to believe that we are nearing the end of another year. As I write this, snow is falling in Colorado, the makings of a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner are in the kitchen, and our newspapers are filled with holiday ads. The end of the year always tends to be a time of reflection as we look back on the accomplishments of the past year and look forward to a new year. It's also a time to reflect on our lives and ensure that we are living the life we want.
It's easy to look at ones life and be content with where you are. You have a good job, a spouse or significant other, children, a nice car, and all of the trappings of success. Clearly you are well on your way to success. But the real question is, are you happy with what you are doing?
No, this is not an article about the spiritual side of your life. Normally these articles focus all of the attention on management and leadership concepts that you can use to shape your career, improve your performance, and move up the ladder of success. But as we enter a new year it is important to take a step back and make sure that the path you are on is the right path for you.
You see life has a way of just happening to people. Your first job tends to be the job that you were first offered, in an industry that may or may not really interest you, doing what you may or may not have a real talent in. Your career then tends to grow from there. You get promoted or change companies, but tend to stay with what you are familiar with and what you have done in the past. Months turn into years and at some point in time you find that you are on a career path that you never really intended to be on at all. It may be a great, wonderful career path doing all of the things that are important to you, or it may be a path where you have had some successes, but don't find inspiring.
In short, your life has been on autopilot. That is when you know that life has happened to you.
You didn't plan to be where you are. And while you are not unhappy with where you are, you are not happy with it either. It does not speak to your inner being.
The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. - Richard Leider
As you sit down in the coming weeks to plan your new years resolutions, take a few extra minutes to think about where you are in your life and where you are in your career. If you have not made a life plan in the past, start one now. Identify your core values. Identify what is important to you in life and in your career. Figure out were you want to be in 10 years and make sure your current path will take you there.
Your life is a fairy tale, with the journey unscripted. Take control of your life and write your own script. Understand your desires and passions and build a plan for your life that will be a source of happiness and pride. It may be in management and leadership. It may be in the arts. But whatever it is, make sure that you control your life and that your life does not just happen to you. David Meyer, owner of Coaching for Tomorrow, has more than 25 years of management and leadership experience, having worked for companies such as Nobil Shoes, McDonough, Allied Stores, MCI and Nextel Communications. His mantra, "You Win With People" is based on the deep-seated belief that hiring, developing, and promoting the right people can lead to organizational and financial success. As a management and leadership coach, David works to instill that same passion in his clients by helping them understand the importance of strong leadership, strong teamwork, and strong players.
David has a Bachelor's in Business Administration from Elmhurst College and has been certified by both ACTION International as a Business Coach and the Coach Training Alliance. He also has received his CTM from Toastmasters. He is an Officer in the Denver Coach Federation and a facilitator/trainer for the Coach Training Alliance and ACTION International of Colorado.
Married with two adult daughters, David is active in his local Kiwanis club and Crossroads Community Church. He enjoys reading, golf, scuba diving, and Civil War reenacting.
www.coachingfortomorrow.com
Don't Let Life Happen To You
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. - Marcus Aurelius (121-80 AD, Roman Emperor, Philosopher)
It's hard to believe that we are nearing the end of another year. As I write this, snow is falling in Colorado, the makings of a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner are in the kitchen, and our newspapers are filled with holiday ads. The end of the year always tends to be a time of reflection as we look back on the accomplishments of the past year and look forward to a new year. It's also a time to reflect on our lives and ensure that we are living the life we want.
It's easy to look at ones life and be content with where you are. You have a good job, a spouse or significant other, children, a nice car, and all of the trappings of success. Clearly you are well on your way to success. But the real question is, are you happy with what you are doing?
No, this is not an article about the spiritual side of your life. Normally these articles focus all of the attention on management and leadership concepts that you can use to shape your career, improve your performance, and move up the ladder of success. But as we enter a new year it is important to take a step back and make sure that the path you are on is the right path for you.
You see life has a way of just happening to people. Your first job tends to be the job that you were first offered, in an industry that may or may not really interest you, doing what you may or may not have a real talent in. Your career then tends to grow from there. You get promoted or change companies, but tend to stay with what you are familiar with and what you have done in the past. Months turn into years and at some point in time you find that you are on a career path that you never really intended to be on at all. It may be a great, wonderful career path doing all of the things that are important to you, or it may be a path where you have had some successes, but don't find inspiring.
In short, your life has been on autopilot. That is when you know that life has happened to you.
You didn't plan to be where you are. And while you are not unhappy with where you are, you are not happy with it either. It does not speak to your inner being.
The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. - Richard Leider
As you sit down in the coming weeks to plan your new years resolutions, take a few extra minutes to think about where you are in your life and where you are in your career. If you have not made a life plan in the past, start one now. Identify your core values. Identify what is important to you in life and in your career. Figure out were you want to be in 10 years and make sure your current path will take you there.
Your life is a fairy tale, with the journey unscripted. Take control of your life and write your own script. Understand your desires and passions and build a plan for your life that will be a source of happiness and pride. It may be in management and leadership. It may be in the arts. But whatever it is, make sure that you control your life and that your life does not just happen to you. David Meyer, owner of Coaching for Tomorrow, has more than 25 years of management and leadership experience, having worked for companies such as Nobil Shoes, McDonough, Allied Stores, MCI and Nextel Communications. His mantra, "You Win With People" is based on the deep-seated belief that hiring, developing, and promoting the right people can lead to organizational and financial success. As a management and leadership coach, David works to instill that same passion in his clients by helping them understand the importance of strong leadership, strong teamwork, and strong players.
David has a Bachelor's in Business Administration from Elmhurst College and has been certified by both ACTION International as a Business Coach and the Coach Training Alliance. He also has received his CTM from Toastmasters. He is an Officer in the Denver Coach Federation and a facilitator/trainer for the Coach Training Alliance and ACTION International of Colorado.
Married with two adult daughters, David is active in his local Kiwanis club and Crossroads Community Church. He enjoys reading, golf, scuba diving, and Civil War reenacting.
www.coachingfortomorrow.com
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