Clearing a Path for Happiness
In the United States, the pursuit of happiness is a god-given right and Americans have a document to prove it. But I wonder why the Founding Fathers deliberately phrased it, 'the pursuit of happiness', as if to say --- happiness in itself cannot be granted because it was, and still remains, tied to materialism. In the "pursuit" of happiness, it is each person's own definition: riches, health, religion, etc.
Take, as an example, the pessimist and optimist. If anything bad happens, the pessimist believes it will not last long but will surely undermine his life. He feels the deck is stacked against him, yet being more realistic than the optimist, he prepares himself for misfortune.
The optimist regards it as a temporary setback and goes about removing the obstacle. He risks more but these efforts give meaning to his life and he makes the best of it. To acquire is to be happy (so the culture teaches) therefore blessed are they for among them are corporate executives in their mansions.
There is enough on the subject of happiness to fill an ebook, but let's measure just one facet: the Internet. How much would it take to make you a happy Interneter? Has your 'big break' eluded you thus far? What kind of Internet success would give you a sense of control over your life - because when you think about it, "control over your life" is a huge slice of happiness.
To generate an income on the Internet, it must come through the development of integrity, character, and efforts on behalf of a cause greater than oneself. By doing the job with honesty, helpfulness, and concern for others, we may have to take some time from our busy schedule to 'coach' a struggling newbie. This mindset offers an easier path to your own success.
Personally, I have not set goals of Internet success so high that it would plunge me into depression when deprived of a six figure income. Given the years (like me) you have labored the Internet, you must avoid the "joy-busters" out to derail your efforts. Only then can you begin living up to your full potential. You will discover more energy and creativity, better relationships, healthier thoughts leading to new ideas and a more rewarding income.
Is there a difference between the life you have - and the life you want? Do you think excuses or results? You can change this today; be that singer who is tone-deaf but sings anyway for the sheer joy it offers.
Jim Leonard wrote, "Happiness is a skill. As with other skills, you can get better at it." He suggests that at this point in your life you might think that things are not the way they should be. Yet things are the way they are. If you can be happy in that reality, then you will improve your life faster and reach your goals easier. Energy will not be wasted on friction or regrets.
What you have is the present moment. Use it - enjoy it.
© 2004 Esther Smith
Esther Smith is editor of Partners-For-Profit Newsletter; always a good read and publisher of http://thepermanentventure.com and http://MoreOnlineCash.com - Subscribers to PFP receive a weekly diet of marketing and advertising reports, fr*ee bonuses, ad space and 5-star resources to start up, run and explode your business venture. clendon@thepermanentventure.com?subject=subscribe
Showing posts with label lung. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lung. Show all posts
Design Psychology: How to Create Happy Homes Using Scents
Design Psychology: How to Create Happy Homes Using Scents
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and trigger powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.
Scents and Feelings
Our olfactory system sends a chemical message about the scents around us through the limbic part of our brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. In seconds, that message is telegraphed to our central nervous system, which, in turn, controls how our body functions and how we feel about those smells.
Scents also influence the temperature we feel emotionally. For instance, a grass matting floor covering has a pleasant scent, and makes us feel cooler, while the aroma of fresh baked bread creates a warm feeling of being loved. Marine scents, such as salty sea air, refresh us, while spice and wood scents bring warm thoughts.
The Evolution of Aromatherapy
The ancient civilizations of Arabia, Babylon, China, Egypt, Greece, India, and Rome all used the aromas of scented plants, flowers, and woods to heal and protect. Religious and spiritual ceremonies have used aromas to arouse mankind's deeply spiritual nature from the dawn of time. Today, the science of aromatherapy, which is a holistic healing practice, uses essential oils and herbs, to treat stress-related illnesses, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive ailments, and even skin problems.
The Effects of Scent on Emotions
Essential oils influence our emotions within seconds of inhalation. For instance, clary sage stimulates the thalamus to release a hormone called encephalon, a neurochemical that creates a sense of euphoria and provides pain relief. Lavender and chamomile fuel the release of serotonin, which has a calming effect on fear, stress, aggravation, or insomnia.
Scents activate the deep part of the brain, where memories are stored. You can recreate pleasant memories and share them with your family and friends through the use of smells. For instance, my mother often baked a cake just before we kids arrived home from school. Now that I've grown up, we don't eat as much cake in our home, but sharing a vanilla scent with my children often prompts them to share stories about their grandmother.
Smells are a powerful link with the memories of our past. My mother used to tell me stories of her grandmother, whose home smelled like baked cinnamon rolls in the morning and exotic, tangy spices in the evening.
The sense of smell, a potent tool in Interior Design Psychology, brings a feeling of harmony and serenity to any room in a home. Embrace the scents you love and those that conjure pleasant memories, and make the use of scent an integral part of your overall design plan.
Copyright (c) 2004 by Jeanette J. Fisher
Professor Jeanette Fisher, author of Doghouse to Dollhouse for Dollars, Joy to the Home, and other books teaches Real Estate Investing and Design Psychology. For more articles, tips, reports, newsletters, and sales flyer template, see http://www.doghousetodollhousefordollars.com/pages/5/index.htm
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and trigger powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.
Scents and Feelings
Our olfactory system sends a chemical message about the scents around us through the limbic part of our brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. In seconds, that message is telegraphed to our central nervous system, which, in turn, controls how our body functions and how we feel about those smells.
Scents also influence the temperature we feel emotionally. For instance, a grass matting floor covering has a pleasant scent, and makes us feel cooler, while the aroma of fresh baked bread creates a warm feeling of being loved. Marine scents, such as salty sea air, refresh us, while spice and wood scents bring warm thoughts.
The Evolution of Aromatherapy
The ancient civilizations of Arabia, Babylon, China, Egypt, Greece, India, and Rome all used the aromas of scented plants, flowers, and woods to heal and protect. Religious and spiritual ceremonies have used aromas to arouse mankind's deeply spiritual nature from the dawn of time. Today, the science of aromatherapy, which is a holistic healing practice, uses essential oils and herbs, to treat stress-related illnesses, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive ailments, and even skin problems.
The Effects of Scent on Emotions
Essential oils influence our emotions within seconds of inhalation. For instance, clary sage stimulates the thalamus to release a hormone called encephalon, a neurochemical that creates a sense of euphoria and provides pain relief. Lavender and chamomile fuel the release of serotonin, which has a calming effect on fear, stress, aggravation, or insomnia.
Scents activate the deep part of the brain, where memories are stored. You can recreate pleasant memories and share them with your family and friends through the use of smells. For instance, my mother often baked a cake just before we kids arrived home from school. Now that I've grown up, we don't eat as much cake in our home, but sharing a vanilla scent with my children often prompts them to share stories about their grandmother.
Smells are a powerful link with the memories of our past. My mother used to tell me stories of her grandmother, whose home smelled like baked cinnamon rolls in the morning and exotic, tangy spices in the evening.
The sense of smell, a potent tool in Interior Design Psychology, brings a feeling of harmony and serenity to any room in a home. Embrace the scents you love and those that conjure pleasant memories, and make the use of scent an integral part of your overall design plan.
Copyright (c) 2004 by Jeanette J. Fisher
Professor Jeanette Fisher, author of Doghouse to Dollhouse for Dollars, Joy to the Home, and other books teaches Real Estate Investing and Design Psychology. For more articles, tips, reports, newsletters, and sales flyer template, see http://www.doghousetodollhousefordollars.com/pages/5/index.htm
Design Psychology: How Our Sensory Responses to Aromas Create Happy Homes
Design Psychology: How Our Sensory Responses to Aromas Create Happy Homes
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and triggers powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.
Scents and Feelings
Our olfactory system sends a chemical message about the scents around us through the limbic part of our brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. In seconds, that message is telegraphed to our central nervous system, which, in turn, controls how our body functions and how we feel about those smells.
Scents also influence the temperature we feel emotionally. For instance, a grass matting floor covering has a pleasant scent, and makes us feel cooler, while the aroma of fresh baked bread creates a warm feeling of being loved. Marine scents, such as salty sea air, refresh us, while spice and wood scents bring warm thoughts.
The Evolution of Aromatherapy
The ancient civilizations of Arabia, Babylon, China, Egypt, Greece, India, and Rome all used the aromas of scented plants, flowers, and woods to heal and protect. Religious and spiritual ceremonies have used aromas to arouse mankind's deeply spiritual nature from the dawn of time. Today, the science of aromatherapy, which is a holistic healing practice, uses essential oils and herbs, to treat stress-related illnesses, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive ailments, and even skin problems.
The Effects of Scent on Emotions
Essential oils influence our emotions within seconds of inhalation. For instance, clary sage stimulates the thalamus to release a hormone called encephalon, a neurochemical that creates a sense of euphoria and provides pain relief. Lavender and chamomile fuel the release of serotonin, which has a calming effect on fear, stress, aggravation, or insomnia.
Scents activate the deep part of the brain, where memories are stored. You can recreate pleasant memories and share them with your family and friends through the use of smells. For instance, my mother often baked a cake just before we kids arrived home from school. Now that I've grown up, we don't eat as much cake in our home, but sharing a vanilla scent with my children often prompts them to share stories about their grandmother.
Smells are a powerful link with the memories of our past. My mother used to tell me stories of her grandmother, whose home smelled like baked cinnamon rolls in the morning and exotic, tangy spices in the evening.
The sense of smell, a potent tool in Interior Design Psychology, brings a feeling of harmony and serenity to any room in a home. Embrace the scents you love and those that conjure pleasant memories, and make the use of scent an integral part of your overall design plan.
Copyright (c) 2004 by Jeanette J. Fisher
Jeanette Fisher, Design Psychology Professor, is the author of Joy to the Home eNewsletter. Discover innovative Interior Design Psychology and makeover your home to support happiness, productivity, and well-being. For Design Psychology information, see http://www.designpsych.com/ For more information about "Joy to the Home," see http://www.joytothehome.com/
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and triggers powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.
Scents and Feelings
Our olfactory system sends a chemical message about the scents around us through the limbic part of our brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. In seconds, that message is telegraphed to our central nervous system, which, in turn, controls how our body functions and how we feel about those smells.
Scents also influence the temperature we feel emotionally. For instance, a grass matting floor covering has a pleasant scent, and makes us feel cooler, while the aroma of fresh baked bread creates a warm feeling of being loved. Marine scents, such as salty sea air, refresh us, while spice and wood scents bring warm thoughts.
The Evolution of Aromatherapy
The ancient civilizations of Arabia, Babylon, China, Egypt, Greece, India, and Rome all used the aromas of scented plants, flowers, and woods to heal and protect. Religious and spiritual ceremonies have used aromas to arouse mankind's deeply spiritual nature from the dawn of time. Today, the science of aromatherapy, which is a holistic healing practice, uses essential oils and herbs, to treat stress-related illnesses, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive ailments, and even skin problems.
The Effects of Scent on Emotions
Essential oils influence our emotions within seconds of inhalation. For instance, clary sage stimulates the thalamus to release a hormone called encephalon, a neurochemical that creates a sense of euphoria and provides pain relief. Lavender and chamomile fuel the release of serotonin, which has a calming effect on fear, stress, aggravation, or insomnia.
Scents activate the deep part of the brain, where memories are stored. You can recreate pleasant memories and share them with your family and friends through the use of smells. For instance, my mother often baked a cake just before we kids arrived home from school. Now that I've grown up, we don't eat as much cake in our home, but sharing a vanilla scent with my children often prompts them to share stories about their grandmother.
Smells are a powerful link with the memories of our past. My mother used to tell me stories of her grandmother, whose home smelled like baked cinnamon rolls in the morning and exotic, tangy spices in the evening.
The sense of smell, a potent tool in Interior Design Psychology, brings a feeling of harmony and serenity to any room in a home. Embrace the scents you love and those that conjure pleasant memories, and make the use of scent an integral part of your overall design plan.
Copyright (c) 2004 by Jeanette J. Fisher
Jeanette Fisher, Design Psychology Professor, is the author of Joy to the Home eNewsletter. Discover innovative Interior Design Psychology and makeover your home to support happiness, productivity, and well-being. For Design Psychology information, see http://www.designpsych.com/ For more information about "Joy to the Home," see http://www.joytothehome.com/
How To Be Outrageously Happy
How To Be Outrageously Happy
You can be as happy as you want whenever you want. Zen masters have proven this - all you have to do is just "be" with whatever you have right now. Yeah, I know. Sitting on the floor contemplating your blank space may not be what you're after. Highly successful people are outrageously happy because they have fulfilling ways to meet their values. What are values? Well I'm not talking about Dan Quayle and Murphy Brown, or Limp Bizkit's recent family values tour. Values are simply what is most important to you.
Do your values move you towards great possibilities? Is your energy directed towards meeting your values in ways that excite you and make you stronger, capable of going for even more? When you are clear on your values, your vision is bright, and you will feel primed to go for it.
How To Achieve A Big Vision
Get clear on your values
Set specific outcomes that stretch you
Model outstanding people who have similar achievements
Take action and go for it 100%
Be aware of what's working and what's not
Change your approach until you get your outcome
Model For Rapid Success
The 21st Century - what an exciting time to be in business. We have eBusiness, eCommerce, eLove (well maybe not yet, but I'm sure some VC or Angel is working on it), eEtc. In this competitive environment where everything is moving at eSpeed, modeling outstanding people is the fastest way to eSuccess.
Highly Successful Entrepreneurial People
They focus on what they want, rather than on what they fear
They see what's possible, where others lack vision
When they are doing the right thing, they just know it
They focus on the big picture, without getting lost in the details
They are interested in how to get results now
They take massive action and intelligent risks to get what they want.
© 1999-2004 Shamus Brown, All Rights Reserved.
Shamus Brown is a Professional Sales Coach and former high-tech sales pro who began his career selling for IBM. Shamus has written more than 50 articles on selling and is the creator of the popular Persuasive Selling Skills CD Audio Program. You can read more of Shamus Brown's sales tips at http://Sales-Tips.industrialEGO.com/ and you can learn more about his persuasive sales skills training at http://www.Persuasive-Sales-Skills.com/
You can be as happy as you want whenever you want. Zen masters have proven this - all you have to do is just "be" with whatever you have right now. Yeah, I know. Sitting on the floor contemplating your blank space may not be what you're after. Highly successful people are outrageously happy because they have fulfilling ways to meet their values. What are values? Well I'm not talking about Dan Quayle and Murphy Brown, or Limp Bizkit's recent family values tour. Values are simply what is most important to you.
Do your values move you towards great possibilities? Is your energy directed towards meeting your values in ways that excite you and make you stronger, capable of going for even more? When you are clear on your values, your vision is bright, and you will feel primed to go for it.
How To Achieve A Big Vision
Get clear on your values
Set specific outcomes that stretch you
Model outstanding people who have similar achievements
Take action and go for it 100%
Be aware of what's working and what's not
Change your approach until you get your outcome
Model For Rapid Success
The 21st Century - what an exciting time to be in business. We have eBusiness, eCommerce, eLove (well maybe not yet, but I'm sure some VC or Angel is working on it), eEtc. In this competitive environment where everything is moving at eSpeed, modeling outstanding people is the fastest way to eSuccess.
Highly Successful Entrepreneurial People
They focus on what they want, rather than on what they fear
They see what's possible, where others lack vision
When they are doing the right thing, they just know it
They focus on the big picture, without getting lost in the details
They are interested in how to get results now
They take massive action and intelligent risks to get what they want.
© 1999-2004 Shamus Brown, All Rights Reserved.
Shamus Brown is a Professional Sales Coach and former high-tech sales pro who began his career selling for IBM. Shamus has written more than 50 articles on selling and is the creator of the popular Persuasive Selling Skills CD Audio Program. You can read more of Shamus Brown's sales tips at http://Sales-Tips.industrialEGO.com/ and you can learn more about his persuasive sales skills training at http://www.Persuasive-Sales-Skills.com/
Achievement and Happiness the 80/20 Way
Achievement and Happiness the 80/20 Way
If there was ever a principle that was responsible for the most happiness and achievement in the world, it would be the 80/20 Principle.
The 80/20 Principle or Pareto Principle was discovered in 1897 by an Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto while he was searching for patterns of wealth and income in England.
What he found was that 80 percent of the wealth was enjoyed by only 20 percent of the population. Additionally, it was consistent in different countries and in different times.
This has been found in present day as well and in almost any activity that we perform, business or otherwise.
In other words, 80 percent of your results in a given activity, are generated by 20 percent of your input or effort. Just the same, 80 percent of revenue or profits are generated by 20 percent of your efforts or sales.
The 80/20 relationship can also easily be documented in personal achievement and happiness.
Most people have never taken the time to count their achievements or much less figure out what makes them happy. If they did, they would have realized that there are very few things that contribute to most of their happiness. They would also have found that there are very few things that they have done that has resulted in most of their achievements.
A great example of the 80/20 Principle in achievement would be to look at some achievement that you've made in your life, and write down all of the things that you did that "truly" got you there. If you're looking at it honestly you'll see that it took consistent effort on very few things to get you most of your results.
My website http://www.RasheedAli.com is another great example. I could have spent a lot of working hours and even more money to get my traffic up, but in reality it took very little work and money to get my Alexa traffic rank from over 3,000,000 in the world to currently 212,901 and climbing every week! It has taken very few, small but effective steps to achieve this. You will find this time and time again in your life if you take a closer look. What you may have thought of as hard work may have been a few effective actions combined with many ineffective actions. By the way, this was done in less than three months.
Now, although achievement makes us happy, what else does?
A serious "Happiness Analysis" is also something all of us should do at least once in our lives. If you documented the things that contribute to your happiness then number the things that make you the happiest, you will find that there are only a few things that contribute to most of your happiness. In other words 20 percent of the things that make you happy, contribute to 80 percent of your happiness!
With that said, if you were to spend more time doing the things that result in most of your happiness or achievement, you WILL double or even triple your results.
*** Rasheed Ali was once a homeless runaway on the streets of NY and is now changing the lives of thousands of people from all walks of life...Helping them reach their ultimate potential by conquering any and all obstacles through his Conquer Your Adversity Newsletter. He is also co-founder of http://www.SleepYourWayToRiches.com You can subscribe to his newsletter at http://www.RasheedAli.com ***
If there was ever a principle that was responsible for the most happiness and achievement in the world, it would be the 80/20 Principle.
The 80/20 Principle or Pareto Principle was discovered in 1897 by an Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto while he was searching for patterns of wealth and income in England.
What he found was that 80 percent of the wealth was enjoyed by only 20 percent of the population. Additionally, it was consistent in different countries and in different times.
This has been found in present day as well and in almost any activity that we perform, business or otherwise.
In other words, 80 percent of your results in a given activity, are generated by 20 percent of your input or effort. Just the same, 80 percent of revenue or profits are generated by 20 percent of your efforts or sales.
The 80/20 relationship can also easily be documented in personal achievement and happiness.
Most people have never taken the time to count their achievements or much less figure out what makes them happy. If they did, they would have realized that there are very few things that contribute to most of their happiness. They would also have found that there are very few things that they have done that has resulted in most of their achievements.
A great example of the 80/20 Principle in achievement would be to look at some achievement that you've made in your life, and write down all of the things that you did that "truly" got you there. If you're looking at it honestly you'll see that it took consistent effort on very few things to get you most of your results.
My website http://www.RasheedAli.com is another great example. I could have spent a lot of working hours and even more money to get my traffic up, but in reality it took very little work and money to get my Alexa traffic rank from over 3,000,000 in the world to currently 212,901 and climbing every week! It has taken very few, small but effective steps to achieve this. You will find this time and time again in your life if you take a closer look. What you may have thought of as hard work may have been a few effective actions combined with many ineffective actions. By the way, this was done in less than three months.
Now, although achievement makes us happy, what else does?
A serious "Happiness Analysis" is also something all of us should do at least once in our lives. If you documented the things that contribute to your happiness then number the things that make you the happiest, you will find that there are only a few things that contribute to most of your happiness. In other words 20 percent of the things that make you happy, contribute to 80 percent of your happiness!
With that said, if you were to spend more time doing the things that result in most of your happiness or achievement, you WILL double or even triple your results.
*** Rasheed Ali was once a homeless runaway on the streets of NY and is now changing the lives of thousands of people from all walks of life...Helping them reach their ultimate potential by conquering any and all obstacles through his Conquer Your Adversity Newsletter. He is also co-founder of http://www.SleepYourWayToRiches.com You can subscribe to his newsletter at http://www.RasheedAli.com ***
Happiness and the Single Person; Changing Myth Into Reality
Happiness and the Single Person; Changing Myth Into Reality
Does the expression "single and happy" sound like an oxymoron to you? Are you weary of others (especially other singles) reinforcing the belief that singles cannot be happy? Do you find yourself always planning for the future or putting things off until you "are married and settled? Do you often have a sense that the intense feelings of happiness and joy cannot really be experienced unless you "have someone to share it with?" Do you just feel there is not enough time and other necessary resources available to the single person to pursue experiences that can bring true happiness?
If the above resonates in your gut, do not despair. The following tips will offer ways to help you experience your present reality differently through changing behavior that is based on those negative (false) beliefs. Essentially, these tips will offer advice on how to live a joyful, fulfilling and balanced single life, which will also assist you in achieving a healthy, long- term, intimate relationship.
· Seek self-fulfillment as an individual.
Place emphasis on being truly alive and experiencing the things that bring you true pleasure. Do not let the feelings of peace and wonder slip from your life as you wait to share (beautiful sunsets) and other gifts of life with a future partner.
Do not place your focus on "getting there." Instead, learn to experience the journey of life. If you can only see the goal of a relationship - marriage, home, children, etc., you will not enjoy the experiences along life's way.
A good analogy for this is that of a person who bikes and sets (ie), a 40-mile goal for the day. They plan and prepare and off they go. The trip consists of thoughts about getting there, watching for problems in the road ahead, measuring the distance and looking forward to the sense of relief and accomplishment when the goal is met.
What about the sensory experiences missed along the way? This biker will not see the way the sun is reflecting on the river. They will not hear the sounds of the birds and other wildlife in the parallel world around them. The smells of fresh vegetation, moist soil and spring-drenched air will not reach their awareness. It is doubtful their mind will trip and play with thoughts of other (perhaps childhood) days like this.
In other words, they will not be IN the experience, just racing through it, and missing the magic available all around them.
· Do not put off important life decisions while waiting for that special someone.
If your desire is to own your own home, work towards achieving this now. Yes, it may be smaller than if you had a partner to share it with. Your list of must-haves with this first home may be different (as yours alone) than they would be if you were looking for a family. When that time comes, you can make the decision to remain there for a time, or sell/rent out your first place. In the meantime, you will have an investment that you can make into something that meets your needs now for comfortable and secure living. It will add stability and be a wonderful help at tax time.
If you are thinking about making a career change or going back to school for a degree, there is no better time than now.
Yes, this may involve re-working priorities, moving, giving up some income, etc. If this is something you have decided you want for your life, delaying it until you are settled in a relationship may make it impossible to achieve. Make that move now. Do not let this time in your life be placed on hold as you wait for things to happen in your life, instead of working to make them become reality.
· Pamper yourself
Do nice things for yourself now that you have been putting off until?
Go ahead and take that trip to the exotic place you have always wanted to visit. You can return there someday with your special someone.
Make it a habit to set the table for your dinner (for one). Use nice china and candles. Treat yourself as deserving of the things couples routinely provide to themselves as a unit. Ask yourself, am I less deserving because I am single?
Put care and love into how you decorate your home. It does not have to cost a lot of money or become another chore to accomplish this. Make it a comfortable nest and retreat from the world. You and your future mate can decide together what to keep, change or add to.
* Make a plan, not excuses
Make time for the things that matter. Do not let your job or other responsibilities take over your life. Set those priorities. Set limits on work and other functional tasks. We often cite work as our best excuse for not attending to our other needs and wants. This may mean making less money or not moving up as fast in the organization.
Without balance, there will be deficits in the emotional, spiritual, and social and leisure areas of your life. Write down your must haves.
Take time out each day for unwinding and relaxation. Keep a weekly inventory of how you are doing and make adjustments as necessary.
Learn how to productively "waste time". Turn off the blackberry and TV. Spend time alone with your thoughts. Reflect on your feelings and your life.
This is the season for new beginnings. Let this spring be your time for learning how to be truly happy and at peace within yourself. Immerse your senses in the many joys that the world around you has to offer. Don't shut out the beauty and happiness that is available to everyone, regardless of their relationship status.
Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia. She specializes in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly. http://www.consum-mate.com
Does the expression "single and happy" sound like an oxymoron to you? Are you weary of others (especially other singles) reinforcing the belief that singles cannot be happy? Do you find yourself always planning for the future or putting things off until you "are married and settled? Do you often have a sense that the intense feelings of happiness and joy cannot really be experienced unless you "have someone to share it with?" Do you just feel there is not enough time and other necessary resources available to the single person to pursue experiences that can bring true happiness?
If the above resonates in your gut, do not despair. The following tips will offer ways to help you experience your present reality differently through changing behavior that is based on those negative (false) beliefs. Essentially, these tips will offer advice on how to live a joyful, fulfilling and balanced single life, which will also assist you in achieving a healthy, long- term, intimate relationship.
· Seek self-fulfillment as an individual.
Place emphasis on being truly alive and experiencing the things that bring you true pleasure. Do not let the feelings of peace and wonder slip from your life as you wait to share (beautiful sunsets) and other gifts of life with a future partner.
Do not place your focus on "getting there." Instead, learn to experience the journey of life. If you can only see the goal of a relationship - marriage, home, children, etc., you will not enjoy the experiences along life's way.
A good analogy for this is that of a person who bikes and sets (ie), a 40-mile goal for the day. They plan and prepare and off they go. The trip consists of thoughts about getting there, watching for problems in the road ahead, measuring the distance and looking forward to the sense of relief and accomplishment when the goal is met.
What about the sensory experiences missed along the way? This biker will not see the way the sun is reflecting on the river. They will not hear the sounds of the birds and other wildlife in the parallel world around them. The smells of fresh vegetation, moist soil and spring-drenched air will not reach their awareness. It is doubtful their mind will trip and play with thoughts of other (perhaps childhood) days like this.
In other words, they will not be IN the experience, just racing through it, and missing the magic available all around them.
· Do not put off important life decisions while waiting for that special someone.
If your desire is to own your own home, work towards achieving this now. Yes, it may be smaller than if you had a partner to share it with. Your list of must-haves with this first home may be different (as yours alone) than they would be if you were looking for a family. When that time comes, you can make the decision to remain there for a time, or sell/rent out your first place. In the meantime, you will have an investment that you can make into something that meets your needs now for comfortable and secure living. It will add stability and be a wonderful help at tax time.
If you are thinking about making a career change or going back to school for a degree, there is no better time than now.
Yes, this may involve re-working priorities, moving, giving up some income, etc. If this is something you have decided you want for your life, delaying it until you are settled in a relationship may make it impossible to achieve. Make that move now. Do not let this time in your life be placed on hold as you wait for things to happen in your life, instead of working to make them become reality.
· Pamper yourself
Do nice things for yourself now that you have been putting off until?
Go ahead and take that trip to the exotic place you have always wanted to visit. You can return there someday with your special someone.
Make it a habit to set the table for your dinner (for one). Use nice china and candles. Treat yourself as deserving of the things couples routinely provide to themselves as a unit. Ask yourself, am I less deserving because I am single?
Put care and love into how you decorate your home. It does not have to cost a lot of money or become another chore to accomplish this. Make it a comfortable nest and retreat from the world. You and your future mate can decide together what to keep, change or add to.
* Make a plan, not excuses
Make time for the things that matter. Do not let your job or other responsibilities take over your life. Set those priorities. Set limits on work and other functional tasks. We often cite work as our best excuse for not attending to our other needs and wants. This may mean making less money or not moving up as fast in the organization.
Without balance, there will be deficits in the emotional, spiritual, and social and leisure areas of your life. Write down your must haves.
Take time out each day for unwinding and relaxation. Keep a weekly inventory of how you are doing and make adjustments as necessary.
Learn how to productively "waste time". Turn off the blackberry and TV. Spend time alone with your thoughts. Reflect on your feelings and your life.
This is the season for new beginnings. Let this spring be your time for learning how to be truly happy and at peace within yourself. Immerse your senses in the many joys that the world around you has to offer. Don't shut out the beauty and happiness that is available to everyone, regardless of their relationship status.
Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia. She specializes in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly. http://www.consum-mate.com
Getting To The Root Of Unhappiness
Getting To The Root Of Unhappiness
Many people live in clutter, emotionally eat themselves into overweight, live in debt, hate their jobs and otherwise live unhappy lives, unable and seemingly unwilling to change. Why? What do these have in common? What is the core issue?
Fear, or rather an absence of love.
Fear, and not hate, is the "dark side" or opposite/absence of love, the way darkness is the opposite/absence of light.
Whether your self image is controlled by unhealthy or uncontrolled overweight or fanatic perfection, both stem from fear. In the first, food is used to comfort upset emotions and to retreat into - a true friend that never lets you down. In the latter (and sometimes the former), control over the body supplants a loss of control elsewhere in life, eventually taking over that life.
Clutter is almost always fear-based - fear of not having something and needing it, fear of getting rid of something important, fear of leaving oneself open to new experiences (which can't come in because your house - and by extension your life - is already full) and fear of being alone with oneself and one's thoughts (clutter requires so much of our energy to deal with and work around, it can serve as a sort of mental static to keep us too busy to think about important things).
Debt is another symptom of fear - people get into debt for many fear-based reasons (like needing stuff to make themselves feel better, or for fear of not keeping up with the Jones' and being socially outcast). Another part to this equation is that many people will not get rid of their access to credit (cut up cards, etc) because there is always that "what if an emergency happens and we don't have cash on hand to pay for it?" which is made moot by the fact that most of their credit cards are maxed out anyway. Debt is also a symptom of the fear of doing without, even when carried to extremes. The fear of going without and the feelings of "being without" fancy clothes or expensive meals out is no less than the fear and experience of going without basic clothing and food, although the reality is different.
Working at a job you hate is nothing but fear - fear of not having enough, fear of quitting and not being able to find other work (or finding it and being stuck with something even worse), fear of not being to keep up with your "stuff habit" or your debt, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of relying on yourself, fear of doing things differently or out-of-the-box (running your own business, running off to Mexico, etc), fear of letting the family down, fear of "wasting" your education, fear of what other will say, think, fear that your mom/dad/sister/evil art teacher were right and so on.
Fear is the basis for pretty much all human suffering, not counting natural disasters and other acts of God. And the opposite of fear is love. Love creates an ecosphere of calm and plenty, because you know there is enough (if only just enough) and so feel no need to "get mine before someone else does." Nor do you feel the need to hoard (clutter) or gather in more than you can afford (debt) to assure yourself of plenty. In a world of love, all are accepted and loved for their own personal strengths and forgiven their faults, therefore negating the need for drowning in the comfort of stuff and food (debt and overweight), or worrying about what others will think if you quit your job to become a Mexican portrait painter (toxic job). And on and on.
Learn to live with love, for yourself and for others, even when they don't meet your standards (even the rich and awful deserve your love, for they serve their purpose, too). Creating a world of love is up to each of us. We cannot wait to see if others take the first step. They are waiting for us.
(c) Soni Pitts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.
She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.
Many people live in clutter, emotionally eat themselves into overweight, live in debt, hate their jobs and otherwise live unhappy lives, unable and seemingly unwilling to change. Why? What do these have in common? What is the core issue?
Fear, or rather an absence of love.
Fear, and not hate, is the "dark side" or opposite/absence of love, the way darkness is the opposite/absence of light.
Whether your self image is controlled by unhealthy or uncontrolled overweight or fanatic perfection, both stem from fear. In the first, food is used to comfort upset emotions and to retreat into - a true friend that never lets you down. In the latter (and sometimes the former), control over the body supplants a loss of control elsewhere in life, eventually taking over that life.
Clutter is almost always fear-based - fear of not having something and needing it, fear of getting rid of something important, fear of leaving oneself open to new experiences (which can't come in because your house - and by extension your life - is already full) and fear of being alone with oneself and one's thoughts (clutter requires so much of our energy to deal with and work around, it can serve as a sort of mental static to keep us too busy to think about important things).
Debt is another symptom of fear - people get into debt for many fear-based reasons (like needing stuff to make themselves feel better, or for fear of not keeping up with the Jones' and being socially outcast). Another part to this equation is that many people will not get rid of their access to credit (cut up cards, etc) because there is always that "what if an emergency happens and we don't have cash on hand to pay for it?" which is made moot by the fact that most of their credit cards are maxed out anyway. Debt is also a symptom of the fear of doing without, even when carried to extremes. The fear of going without and the feelings of "being without" fancy clothes or expensive meals out is no less than the fear and experience of going without basic clothing and food, although the reality is different.
Working at a job you hate is nothing but fear - fear of not having enough, fear of quitting and not being able to find other work (or finding it and being stuck with something even worse), fear of not being to keep up with your "stuff habit" or your debt, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of relying on yourself, fear of doing things differently or out-of-the-box (running your own business, running off to Mexico, etc), fear of letting the family down, fear of "wasting" your education, fear of what other will say, think, fear that your mom/dad/sister/evil art teacher were right and so on.
Fear is the basis for pretty much all human suffering, not counting natural disasters and other acts of God. And the opposite of fear is love. Love creates an ecosphere of calm and plenty, because you know there is enough (if only just enough) and so feel no need to "get mine before someone else does." Nor do you feel the need to hoard (clutter) or gather in more than you can afford (debt) to assure yourself of plenty. In a world of love, all are accepted and loved for their own personal strengths and forgiven their faults, therefore negating the need for drowning in the comfort of stuff and food (debt and overweight), or worrying about what others will think if you quit your job to become a Mexican portrait painter (toxic job). And on and on.
Learn to live with love, for yourself and for others, even when they don't meet your standards (even the rich and awful deserve your love, for they serve their purpose, too). Creating a world of love is up to each of us. We cannot wait to see if others take the first step. They are waiting for us.
(c) Soni Pitts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.
She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.
The ABCs Of A Great Life: J Is For Joviality
The ABCs Of A Great Life: J Is For Joviality
Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of these are an important part of a well-balanced breakfast, er, life. Without humor, there is no hope. Without laughter, no love. And with a heavy heart, we live only a life of sadness and despair. Our ability to laugh at our foibles and laugh with our friends is a key indicator for predicting how readily we'll bounce back from difficulties and how well we'll handle the curveballs that life throws our way, and a quick smile is always the best defense in a situation that's hit a sour note.
In addition, medical studies have shown that indeed, laughter is the best medicine. Not only does it flood our brain with "feel good" hormones and exercise our body's core trunk muscles with spontaneous and deep contractions, but it noticeably and effectively raises our immune system's defenses in ways that are only now being fully explored - an effect which lasts considerably longer than the laughter that triggered it. Laughing lowers your blood pressure and exercises the heart. It relieves stress and helps generate an overall stability of well-being.
People with notably jovial attitudes are seen as friendlier and better adjusted, and people are drawn to them like flies to honey. Socialization with peers becomes smoother and more enjoyable, and people can't wait to rejoin and reestablish the acquaintance of those with a good sense of humor.
Of course, this does not include "humor" that hurts - biting sarcasm, "witty" putdowns, jokes made at the expense of others, mockery and other such imposters. It is doubtful that any of these recreate the same effects as true humor and lightheartedness, and I know for a fact that they attract far fewer friends.
Go on, laugh! It's good for you. Learn to bring laughter and joviality into your life and every step of the way will be filled with the warm embrace of good times spent with good friends in good health. Salut!
(c) Soni Pitts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.
She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.
Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of these are an important part of a well-balanced breakfast, er, life. Without humor, there is no hope. Without laughter, no love. And with a heavy heart, we live only a life of sadness and despair. Our ability to laugh at our foibles and laugh with our friends is a key indicator for predicting how readily we'll bounce back from difficulties and how well we'll handle the curveballs that life throws our way, and a quick smile is always the best defense in a situation that's hit a sour note.
In addition, medical studies have shown that indeed, laughter is the best medicine. Not only does it flood our brain with "feel good" hormones and exercise our body's core trunk muscles with spontaneous and deep contractions, but it noticeably and effectively raises our immune system's defenses in ways that are only now being fully explored - an effect which lasts considerably longer than the laughter that triggered it. Laughing lowers your blood pressure and exercises the heart. It relieves stress and helps generate an overall stability of well-being.
People with notably jovial attitudes are seen as friendlier and better adjusted, and people are drawn to them like flies to honey. Socialization with peers becomes smoother and more enjoyable, and people can't wait to rejoin and reestablish the acquaintance of those with a good sense of humor.
Of course, this does not include "humor" that hurts - biting sarcasm, "witty" putdowns, jokes made at the expense of others, mockery and other such imposters. It is doubtful that any of these recreate the same effects as true humor and lightheartedness, and I know for a fact that they attract far fewer friends.
Go on, laugh! It's good for you. Learn to bring laughter and joviality into your life and every step of the way will be filled with the warm embrace of good times spent with good friends in good health. Salut!
(c) Soni Pitts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.
She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.
Dont Let Life Happen to You
Dont Let Life Happen to You
Don't Let Life Happen To You
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. - Marcus Aurelius (121-80 AD, Roman Emperor, Philosopher)
It's hard to believe that we are nearing the end of another year. As I write this, snow is falling in Colorado, the makings of a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner are in the kitchen, and our newspapers are filled with holiday ads. The end of the year always tends to be a time of reflection as we look back on the accomplishments of the past year and look forward to a new year. It's also a time to reflect on our lives and ensure that we are living the life we want.
It's easy to look at ones life and be content with where you are. You have a good job, a spouse or significant other, children, a nice car, and all of the trappings of success. Clearly you are well on your way to success. But the real question is, are you happy with what you are doing?
No, this is not an article about the spiritual side of your life. Normally these articles focus all of the attention on management and leadership concepts that you can use to shape your career, improve your performance, and move up the ladder of success. But as we enter a new year it is important to take a step back and make sure that the path you are on is the right path for you.
You see life has a way of just happening to people. Your first job tends to be the job that you were first offered, in an industry that may or may not really interest you, doing what you may or may not have a real talent in. Your career then tends to grow from there. You get promoted or change companies, but tend to stay with what you are familiar with and what you have done in the past. Months turn into years and at some point in time you find that you are on a career path that you never really intended to be on at all. It may be a great, wonderful career path doing all of the things that are important to you, or it may be a path where you have had some successes, but don't find inspiring.
In short, your life has been on autopilot. That is when you know that life has happened to you.
You didn't plan to be where you are. And while you are not unhappy with where you are, you are not happy with it either. It does not speak to your inner being.
The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. - Richard Leider
As you sit down in the coming weeks to plan your new years resolutions, take a few extra minutes to think about where you are in your life and where you are in your career. If you have not made a life plan in the past, start one now. Identify your core values. Identify what is important to you in life and in your career. Figure out were you want to be in 10 years and make sure your current path will take you there.
Your life is a fairy tale, with the journey unscripted. Take control of your life and write your own script. Understand your desires and passions and build a plan for your life that will be a source of happiness and pride. It may be in management and leadership. It may be in the arts. But whatever it is, make sure that you control your life and that your life does not just happen to you. David Meyer, owner of Coaching for Tomorrow, has more than 25 years of management and leadership experience, having worked for companies such as Nobil Shoes, McDonough, Allied Stores, MCI and Nextel Communications. His mantra, "You Win With People" is based on the deep-seated belief that hiring, developing, and promoting the right people can lead to organizational and financial success. As a management and leadership coach, David works to instill that same passion in his clients by helping them understand the importance of strong leadership, strong teamwork, and strong players.
David has a Bachelor's in Business Administration from Elmhurst College and has been certified by both ACTION International as a Business Coach and the Coach Training Alliance. He also has received his CTM from Toastmasters. He is an Officer in the Denver Coach Federation and a facilitator/trainer for the Coach Training Alliance and ACTION International of Colorado.
Married with two adult daughters, David is active in his local Kiwanis club and Crossroads Community Church. He enjoys reading, golf, scuba diving, and Civil War reenacting.
www.coachingfortomorrow.com
Don't Let Life Happen To You
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live. - Marcus Aurelius (121-80 AD, Roman Emperor, Philosopher)
It's hard to believe that we are nearing the end of another year. As I write this, snow is falling in Colorado, the makings of a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner are in the kitchen, and our newspapers are filled with holiday ads. The end of the year always tends to be a time of reflection as we look back on the accomplishments of the past year and look forward to a new year. It's also a time to reflect on our lives and ensure that we are living the life we want.
It's easy to look at ones life and be content with where you are. You have a good job, a spouse or significant other, children, a nice car, and all of the trappings of success. Clearly you are well on your way to success. But the real question is, are you happy with what you are doing?
No, this is not an article about the spiritual side of your life. Normally these articles focus all of the attention on management and leadership concepts that you can use to shape your career, improve your performance, and move up the ladder of success. But as we enter a new year it is important to take a step back and make sure that the path you are on is the right path for you.
You see life has a way of just happening to people. Your first job tends to be the job that you were first offered, in an industry that may or may not really interest you, doing what you may or may not have a real talent in. Your career then tends to grow from there. You get promoted or change companies, but tend to stay with what you are familiar with and what you have done in the past. Months turn into years and at some point in time you find that you are on a career path that you never really intended to be on at all. It may be a great, wonderful career path doing all of the things that are important to you, or it may be a path where you have had some successes, but don't find inspiring.
In short, your life has been on autopilot. That is when you know that life has happened to you.
You didn't plan to be where you are. And while you are not unhappy with where you are, you are not happy with it either. It does not speak to your inner being.
The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. - Richard Leider
As you sit down in the coming weeks to plan your new years resolutions, take a few extra minutes to think about where you are in your life and where you are in your career. If you have not made a life plan in the past, start one now. Identify your core values. Identify what is important to you in life and in your career. Figure out were you want to be in 10 years and make sure your current path will take you there.
Your life is a fairy tale, with the journey unscripted. Take control of your life and write your own script. Understand your desires and passions and build a plan for your life that will be a source of happiness and pride. It may be in management and leadership. It may be in the arts. But whatever it is, make sure that you control your life and that your life does not just happen to you. David Meyer, owner of Coaching for Tomorrow, has more than 25 years of management and leadership experience, having worked for companies such as Nobil Shoes, McDonough, Allied Stores, MCI and Nextel Communications. His mantra, "You Win With People" is based on the deep-seated belief that hiring, developing, and promoting the right people can lead to organizational and financial success. As a management and leadership coach, David works to instill that same passion in his clients by helping them understand the importance of strong leadership, strong teamwork, and strong players.
David has a Bachelor's in Business Administration from Elmhurst College and has been certified by both ACTION International as a Business Coach and the Coach Training Alliance. He also has received his CTM from Toastmasters. He is an Officer in the Denver Coach Federation and a facilitator/trainer for the Coach Training Alliance and ACTION International of Colorado.
Married with two adult daughters, David is active in his local Kiwanis club and Crossroads Community Church. He enjoys reading, golf, scuba diving, and Civil War reenacting.
www.coachingfortomorrow.com
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